Burned
by fluffykitty12
Summary: He took a breath, turning and running into the street, hands clapped together. He was directly behind the man, now- everything was falling into place. And then his world exploded into flames. NOT SLASH/YAOI, parental Roy and Ed.
1. Report

**Hey guys! First off, thanks for reading this, and a special thanks to those who came here from my other FMA fic, Daddy Issues, based on the original anime and with lots of parental Roy oneshots.**

 **Please review! I love feedback and consider all suggestions! :)**

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Roy Mustang swung a sharp left on the corner, slamming on the breaks.

"Here's your report, bastard." Ed muttered, tossing the packet of paper onto the desk.

Roy frowned, peering down at the messily scrawled report in front of him.

"So- another dead end, huh?"

"It wasn't a dead end!" Ed snapped. "It was just a... a detour from the real path to the stone."

"Sure." Roy muttered skeptically, picking up the report and thumbing through it, eyes going wide.

"A warehouse collapsed!?" his charcoal eyes snapped up, staring at Ed in shock.

"Yeah, but the place was condemned anyways, so don't go whining to me about property damage. Besides, there was nothing of value in there- I checked."

"You were inside!?" Roy blanched.

Ed scoffed. "Yeah. Shielded myself with my automail, and Al managed to help dig me out. 'S no big deal..."

Roy blinked, closing his eyes and counting to ten. One deep breath...

"That's where you're wrong, Fullmetal. I find your recklessness to be concerning." Roy said seriously.

Ed rolled his eyes. "Seriously!? Not this again. Your reputation is fine- nothing that could be linked back to you..."

"This isn't about my reputation, Ed!" Roy snapped, and Ed paused for a moment, surprised. Roy never called him by his real name.

"It's about you, Fullmetal." Roy slipped back into his authoritative role, tapping his gloved hand on the desk. "If you keep going like this- you're going to get yourself killed."

Ed opened his mouth, but his mouth fell closed as Roy raised a gloved hand to stop him.

"I'm not finished yet. You're gallivanting to the ends of the Earth searching for a myth- risking your very being for it. you aren't invincible, Fullmetal- you're either going to die in some altercations with shady characters who claim to have the stone, or run yourself into the ground."

Ed scoffed, arms crossed.

"Something interesting, Fullmetal?"

"You don't know what you're talking about. What we've lost. Al doesn't even have a body, and you're trying to convince me to give up!?" Ed lashed out viciously, kicking the brown couch that sat opposite Roy's desk and snarling...

Roy's eyes widened slightly, before he was back to his usual calm expression. "I never said give up, Fullmetal. I know you want your bodies back. I'm simply suggesting you cut your losses and stop searching for the stone. It can't be the only way to get your body back. With an alchemist as brilliant as you- you could probably find some other way..."

Ed slammed both hands down on Roy's desk. "There is no other way!" Ed was grinding his teeth, breathing heavily, before he was blinking rapidly.

"D-don't you think I've _looked_ already? Do you think I'd keep doing this- keeping chasing the stone, dragging my little brother to the ends of the Earth- if there was _any other way!?"_

Roy blinked- clearly, he'd underestimated just how deep Fullmetal's scars ran. And he didn't mean the physical ones.

"Full-"

" _Shut up!"_ Ed snapped, whirling, braid flying out behind him as his gold eyes burned. "Don't. Just _don't._ Don't try to talk me into something that you know _nothing_ about. Just- read the stupid report, okay?" Ed ran his metal hand through his blonde locks and turning for the door.

"Ed. Wait."

Edward showed no signs of stopping. He only had one goal in mind.

"That's an _order._ "

Ed stopped, though he didn't turn around, glaring at the wall of Mustang's office like it had personally offended him.

Roy was about to speak- to coax the upset teen back to the couch and try and help him sort out the absolute tornado of emotions he was right now- when his phone rang.

Roy frowned, picking up.

"Roy Mustang here. Can this wait?"

 _"Roy!"_

Roy groaned inwardly at hearing Hughes voice, expecting to be bored about the man's blathering about his family, but something in his friend's tone made him pay attention.

 _"...seventeen confirmed dead already- this dude is out for blood! We're mobilizing all alchemists to bring him down! Understand!?"_

"Wait, what?" Roy was sitting straight up, now, paying complete attention. "I didn't catch that..."

"The Electric Touch Alchemist is on a rampage! He's in the west district of central- all units are mobilizing, but this guy's gone completely insane, Roy! He's killed a whole squadron of soldiers! Not much time to explain- we need team Mustang on the Easternmost side, we're trying to box him on. From 7th to 12th street, you got that!? We need you to mobilize asap!"

Roy was about to get up, but he paused.

"I can be there in 4 minutes, Hughes, but I need to know your orders!" he couldn't just waltz in there like he owned the place, he needed to know their objective...

There was silence on the other end for a moment, and Roy realized it must be serious, since Hughes was wasting precious seconds in such a serious situation.

 _"... He's killed three children in the past half hour. Ten of his victims were civilians. No military connections at all. Our orders are to stop him at all costs- he;s to be taken dead or alive. I know you don't like to do that, but this guy... he's completely lost it, Roy. He has to be stopped, or he's gonna kill anyone he comes across..."_ Hughes sounded serious.

"I understand. We're moving out." Roy hung up the phone, getting to his feet and heading for the door.

He paused when he saw Edward still standing there, red cloak hanging to his ankles, golden eyes looking decidedly curious.

"I need to leave now, Fullmetal, but this discussion _is not over,_ you understand me?" he said briskly. He fully intended to lecture the kid on the difference between devotion and recklessness when he got back, for the kid's own good...

"Where are you going?"

Roy paused for a moment, remembering what Hughes had said. _"We're mobilizing all state alchemists against him..."_

Not Ed. He wasn't sending Ed lout there- the kid was a genius, but he was also reckless, inexperienced, and likely exhausted. And Roy didn't want him facing this alchemist- not after what Hughes had told him about the man killing children... Roy suppressed a shudder as familiar screams sung out in his memory, mixed with the heat of flame.

"...Something's come up. I'll call you to reschedule-" he brushed past Fullmetal hurriedly, entering the outer office to find his men staring at him with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety.

Furey had no doubt picked up the distress calls on the radio and informed his comrades. They knew they'd be moving out.

Falman, Havoc, and Breda were loading their sidearms- Hawkeye had her sidearm already loaded and holstered, as always, as she was slinging a rifle over her shoulder, and she eyed him cooly, as always.

"Orders, Sir?"

"Dead or alive. But mostly dead. If it comes down to him or you- make sure you're the onyl walking out alive. Understood?"

Everyone in the room nodded.

"-good. Breda, you're on 7th, Havor, 9th, Falman, 11th. Furey- you take 13th and watch from the shadows, keep us updated on radio. Hawkeye- you take the rooftops. I'll be dealing with him personally." Roy tugged on his ignition gloves- they were already on securely, but it was an old habit.

Within 30 seconds, they were ready.

"Move out."

Within seconds, they were on the road, each in various cars as they raced towards the afflicted area.

Roy could feel the adrenaline- almost like the flames at his fingertips- thrumming along with his heartbeat in his chest.

It wasn't that he liked killing- rather, he loathed it- but if it meant he could protect innocent people, he'd do it in a heart beat.

 _Here we go again._ he thought tiredly. _Into the lion's den._

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	2. Engaged in Combat

**Alright, here's chapter 2.**

 **Please know I've read and thoroughly enjoyed all of your reviews. You guys inspire me to keep writing! :)**

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Edward crossed his arms and fairly flung himself on the brown couch in Mustang's office, letting out a slow breath and blowing his golden bangs out of his face.

 _Seriously_ _, Mustang? First you rag on my search for the stone- that, I could understand- but then question my skills as an alchemist? I can_ afford _to be reckless... Well,I have to be. Al deserves his body back, but you don't seem to get that..._

Ed frowned, looking around the empty office, disinterested.

 _And then you have the nerve to go running off, leaving me here to sit until you get back to whine at me some more... You know what, screw it._

He got to his feet, brushing himself off. _I'm not gonna wait around here like some stupid housewife. Maybe Hawkeye or Furey has something that needs doing..._

He wandered into the other office, doing a double take when he found it deserted.

 _Huh. That's weird. Almost like they all ran out..._

He wandered over to Furey's radio, falling into the man's chair. Out of everyone, furey was the most gentle-tempered. He reminded him of Al, almost- with his hesitant smile and quiet but passionate enthusiasm.

He had just sat down in the chair when he heard a voice breaking through the static...

 _"All available unit, respond! All available units, respond! The Electric Touch Alchemist is approaching the police station on 9th street, I repea-_ ARRRUUUGGGHH!"

Ed's eyes widened, and he inhaled sharply-

Before he was fully concious of what he was doing, he was on his feet and running towards the door, red cloak billowing out behind him.

He'd heard a death scream on that line- the agonized vocalizations of a dying man.

Some perverted person was using alchemy to take innocent lives. Why, he didn't know- he'd vaguely connected the dots of Team Mustang's sudden departure to the sudden rampage of a murderous alchemist, but he hadn't understood why Mustang had chosen to leave him behind...

 _It doesn't matter._ he thought to himself firmly, booted feet pounding down the pavement, lungs burning. _I have to stop him. Before he hurts more people- uses alchemy to take more lives..._

He skidded around the corner, racing towards eighth street. He was still nearly a dozen blocks away, but he knew where the police station was- he often walked past it to head to his favorite bakery, and he'd grown used to seeing the faces of the officers around...

He swallowed, eyes stinging from running and unshed tears.

 _Whoever the heck you think you are- I'm going to_ stop you!

BREAK

The car skidded, blocking off the road completely. He threw it into park, throwing open the door and ditching the car entirely as he stared up at the sky anxiously.

They were hunting the Electric Touch alchemist- a state alchemist gone rogue. The man was so skilled he could manage to rearrange atoms and manipulate their charges, allow him to direct bolts of electricity at will.

The man had bee a pioneer in the usage of electric alchemy- and he was now on a genocidal quest, as evidenced by the trail of corpses of soldiers and military men he'd left in his wake.

Roy hadn't heard much of the details before team Mustang had been dispatched, but the entirety of Central's military and police force was currently trying to corner the man.

He was at the junction of 9th street and 4th street, running towards the police station.

He stopped, standing still. From what he'd been hearing over the radio- they had him from all sides.

Armstrong's unit was on the east side, they had him from the weest, and MP units with guns drawn were holding the north and south with road blocks. Hawkeye was on the roof with her rifle, having his back- they had him.

Roy slowed his pace as he grew nearer the police station, frowning. All of a sudden, the brick front of the building exploded in a mass of bricks and electricity- as the dust settled, a lone figure stood, dragging something behind him.

Roy watched in gross fascination, shocked, as he realized the man in front of him was dragging a police officer into the street by the boot.

He picked up his pace, running forward.

The police officer was scrabbling, trying to free himself- he left a blood trail on the pavement behind him, hands floppily clawing, trying to free himself...

"Hey! Stop!" Roy shouted.

He was getting closer- he was nearly ten feet away from the maniac.

The man turned- stringy blonde hair falling about his shoulder- and flashed Roy a murderous smile, hurling the still-alive police officer forward and placing two fingers on something bloody on his cheek- bolts of lightening materialized from nowhere-

Roy watched the man seize hopelessly- body viciously jerking unnaturally, limbs twisted at odd angles- before, all too soon, the man was unnervingly still on the pavement, flesh smoking.

The smell of electricity and burnt flesh lingered in the air, and Roy stared for a moment, horrified.

 _If only I'd been faster..._

The man turned, leering, fingers still pressed to his bloody face, crooked yellow teeth like that of a reptilian when matched with his nearly translucent skin.

Roy realized with some degree of horror that the man had actually carved a transmutation circle into his cheek.

He ran his pink tongue over sooty lips, burning brown eyes scrutinizing Roy with something akin to passion. "Finally." he drawled lazily, licking some of the soot from his lips- "someone worth my time."

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His feet splashed through the filthy water, the cloak below his knees wet as well.

"C'mon- c'mon!" he hissed, feeling his way along the dark sewers below the street.

He was below ninth street- in his head, he had a vision of the street below him. He could remember the manholes on the street- he was just trying to find which manhole would let him out closest to the police station. Unfortunately, it was horribly dark, and he was horribly lost.

He heard an explosion above him on the street.

"Screw it!" he had to be close. He chose the next manhole he saw, latching onto the rusty ladder and climbing as quickly as he could- he lifted the manhole off and scrambled out, finding himself in the alley beside the police station.

"Okay... I have to be close..."

"Finally, someone worth my time." a voice that flowed like maple syrup spoke.

Ed frowned, peering out at the street. The front of the police station had been blown to smithereens, and fragments of brick and stone littered the road. A smoking corpse of a police officer laid in the street, and Ed found himself staring at the back of a man with stringy blonde hair and an odd, slumped build...

His rage burned, staring at the dead cop in the street. _He could've had a family..._

Still, he frowned, taking note of the two light posts on either side of the man on the street.

 _There._ if he could run into the street and get behind the man, clap his hands to the pavement, and he could re-form the lamp post as a form of restraints around the man and transmute them to wire that didn't respond to electricity.

However, he was running low on time.

Something was clearly going down- he had to act _now-_ before this maniac killed again.

He took a breath, turning and running into the street, hands clapped together. HE was directly behind the man, now- everything was falling into place. And then his world exploded into flames.

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Roy stared at the killer for a moment, unnerved. Those brown eyes seemed to have insane depths- never blinking, never faltering, just staring at Roy with a mixture of amusement and contentment. His eyes had a sort of predatory glint in them, like a cat watching a mouse. He hadn't yet moved his fingers from the bloody array carved into his face.

Roy's gloved hands were at either of his sides- he didn't want to kill an unarmed man, but he couldn't let this madness g on- the man was poised to strike him at any moment, with just the simple thought of alchemy...

It all depended on who was faster with the trigger.

The man's cheek twitched into a malice- filled grin a fraction of a second before the air crackled with electricity, but before the man could finish the transmutation, Roy had snapped his fingers- he watched the man's gleeful expression darken to one of shock as the flames swirled- he'd calculated the exact diameter of the flames, changed the concentration of oxygen... it was a clean kill- incinerated within seconds.

Over his own pounding heart, however, he heard it- screaming.

He frowned, eyes widening.m He'd aimed perfectly- there was no way the man could've survived!

For a horrible fraction of a second, images flashed through his mind- flames, charred flesh, half-burned bodies when he'd miscalculated...

His eyes snapped open, however, and a moment later the flames died.

There, lying on the ground, was a small charred heap of red fabric.

" _Fullmetal!"_

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 **That twist, though!**

 **Please review! :)**


	3. The Pain I've Inflicted

**Hello! First off, I apologize for the brevity of this chapter, but I have a major exam this week and I'm basically writing in what little spare time I have for you guys.**

 **Please know that your reviews help me through some rough days in school and inspire me to keep writing! :)**

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His whole world narrowed. He was no longer focused on the blood staining the pavement, the front of the police station that'd been blown wide open- the charred body lying among the torn up pavement.

There was nothing- it was like he had tunnel vision, his breathing coming in harsh, ragged gasps as he stumbled over uneven ground, towards the only thing he could see- the small heap of red fabric lying in the street.

He was almost to him- only about ten feet away- when his whole world shifted and he came tumbling to the ground.

His head throbbed, and he lifted his head slowly, only to realize with a disquieting sense of nothingness he'd tripped on the charred corpse of the electric touch alchemist.

Still, he ignored it completely, hauling himself up and continuing to stagger forward towards the quivering heap of crimson.

"Fullmetal..." he paused when he reached the boy, kneeling beside him, pausing with his hands out, uncertain as to whether or no he should touch him.

There was a groan from beneath the fabric, and Roy reached out, pulling back the cloak to come face to face with charred skin...

He'd lost all the breath in his lungs. It was as though his lungs were full of water, and even when he turned away, he was still seeing it.

"Auuuggghhh!" Ed screamed, burns exposed to the air, and something within Roy broke at such a painful sound splitting the air...

"Sir!"

He hadn't realized he was on all fours and breathing heavily until Hawkeye said his name sharply from where she knelt on Edward's other side.

When had she gotten over here?

Why was it so hot?

He was struggling to breathe, like his collar was choking him, and he reached up and tugged at it absently...

"H...hurs..."

Roy's head shot up, charcoal eyes looking over at the small blonde in horror. The boy's left side had sustained most of the burns- he'd most likely turned to try and shield himself. His skin was angry red in the luckiest parts- the right side of his face, mingled with charred blonde hair.

His hand had the worst of it- charred black in some spots, angry red patchworked in with the charcoal, weeping soot and ash up the forearms, until only the angry red climbed his shoulder and disappeared beneath his collar bone. The boy's pants and shirt were charred, and Roy didn't want to think about the damage that lurked beneath the cloth.

His mouth was dry, and he blinked. He'd done this to Fullmetal. The kid's pain was _his_ fault...

"I know, Ed. We're going to get you help, don't worry.." Hawkeye said, looking down at him with concern.

A car came tearing up- Furey stumbled out of the driver's seat, breathless.

"I got here as soon as you radioed, who's hur-" he paused, eyes widening when he saw the heap that was Edward splayed on the pavement. He gaped, looking at Roy, who's black bangs obscured his eyes as he stared at the ground, just trying to figure out how to _breathe,_ then to Hawkeye, uncertain.

"Help me get him into the car." Hawkeye said, and Furey quickly nodded, hurrying over to help her.

Edward was moaning, squirming slightly on the pavement. Roy doubted he'd even known what'd happened to him.

"Edward- we have to get you up now. This may hurt." Hawkeye bit her lip, before she nodded to Furey, who grabbed Ed beneath his automail arm, while Hawkeye gently placed her hands beneath his flesh one.

She nodded to Furey. "Now."

One brief moment of silence as they attempted to pull Edward to his feet, before...

"Yaaaaaahhhh!" Ed screamed, striking out blindly. His automail fist- still warm from the heat- collided with Furey's face, and he went crashing back to the pavement, writhing and whimpering.

"S-stop." he panted brokenly. "J-just don't." tears were streaming down his face, leaving clean streaks on his sooty face...

Burns were excruciating. There was no way they were going to get Ed into the car without there being pain. But the best thing they could do for the kid was get him to a hospital asap.

Roy stood, his breath returning along with his ability to think. "Start the car. I'll carry him."

"... are you sure, Sir?" Hawkeye asked, coffee eyes resting on him critically. He knew what she meant. _Are you sure you can handle this right now?_

"I'll be fine, Hawkeye. It's my fault, anyways- the least I can do is get the kid to the hospital. Furey- start the car."

"R-right Sir." the short sergeant took off, and Roy crouched back beside Edward, who whimpered.

"N-no... It hurts."

"I know it hurts, Edward. And... _I'm sorry_." his voice came dangerously close to cracking, and something that felt a lot like tears were building in the back of his throat. "I'm not going to lie to you, Edward. This si going to hurt. A _lot._ But I'll go as quick as I can. Alright?"

"B-but it hurts..." Ed whimpered, red eyes looking up at him anxiously.

"I know. But this will go faster and hurt less if you don't struggle, understand?"

Fullmetal let out a strangled sound, golden eyes falling closed and he let his head fall back on the pavement. For all intents and purposes, it looked like the kid was giving up.

Roy could feel his lip quivering, and he tried to be as gentle as possible as he looped an arm beneath Ed's slightly bent knees and the other beneath his back- he'd be carrying the boy bridal style.

He stood as quickly as possible, and jogged towards the car while keeping the boy steady. Edward didn't struggle- but Roy doubted he would ever get the sund of Ed's screams out of his head.

Fullmetal finally laid, panting, in the back seat of the car, trying to catch his breath, head resting in Roy's lap as the man quickly slammed the door.

"Drive." he ordered. Furey hit the gas.

Fullmetal was trembling from where he was sprawled in the back seat, head in Roy's lap, though whether it was from pain or shock Roy couldn't tell.

Tearful golden eyes fluttered open to look up at Roy as the boy whimpered slightly, squirming- no way he moved was going to relieve the pain.

"W-why is it so hot?" he asked, voice choked as he looked up at Roy desperately. His tortured skin was burning- the air touching it stung, and he didn't know why- he didn't remember anything after the explosion of fire, all he knew was excruciating pain. The shock and hurt of it all had reduced him to his barest elements- a scared thirteen year old kid.

"I'm sorry, Edward. Just close your eyes. We'll be there soon."

Pained eyes fell closed as Edward obeyed him without question- the kid would've done anything to dull the pain.

"'S _hot._ " Edward whimpered.

"I know, Ed." Roy's voice was barely above a whisper, and he felt the crushing pain in his chest as guilt finally devoured him. He took slow, ragged breaths, water tainting cheeks of the man who was normally useless when wet, dripping onto the face of the petite blonde who laid in his lap.

"W-why is it raining?" Ed asked, voice barely above a whisper. as he shifted- his trembling has lessened slightly- the boy's agony was givign way to exhaustion and shock, and he wasn't thinking clearly. Roy hoped he wouldn't remember any of this- of the agony he'd caused him.

"Shh, Edward." he managed, voice barely above a whisper and wavering. He was dangerously close to losing it and breaking down completely, losing control over his sient crying. "We'll get you taken care of. I promise."

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	4. Screams

**A little bit of angst and Roy/Hughes friendship. Please review! :)**

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Fullmetal's breathing was nearly even when Roy rushed into the emergency room, holding the kid bridal style.

He was no longer screaming in pain- which led Roy to the conclusion that the boy was in limbo- walking the fine line between shock and unconsciousness.

"I need help!"

Instantly nurses were dropping clipboards and paperwork, rushing forward- there was a flurry of doctors, and he found Ed being taken from his arms and set on a gurney, lying limply, head turned to the side. Roy's breath caught in his chest as the sight of singed blonde locks flopping over the boy's face- was he really unconscious?

"Sir! I need you to tell me what happened." a nurse was standing in front of him, brown eyes serious.

Wasn't it obvious? Couldn't she smell the burnt flesh and hair?

"He was burned."

"In a house fire or a car accident? Has he inhaled any smoke?" he was staring right through her, watching Fullmetal lie motionless on the gurney.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when the nurse placed a hand on his shoulder, snapping him back to reality.

"Sir- I know this is hard, but I need you to answer my questions. It's important."

"It was alchemy. He was burned in an alchemic accident." _I did this. I'm a bastard..._

Fullmetal's eyes looked like they were made of glass. He stared ahead- unseeing, uncaring- as doctors swarmed him like flies.

His lips parted slightly, a wince crossing his features as they tried to peel away burned fabric from skin...

Fullmetal looked like he'd given up completely. Lying on the gurney, covered in soot and ash- so much like a child. Roy had reduced him to this- helpless, uncaring.

Where was the fight in those dull golden eyes? For the first time, icy fingers of fear wound themselves around Roy's heart. Because if Edward had lost the will to fight- he just might give up.

But what could he do- what could he say- to make the boy fight? After all- hadn't he done enough?

Doctors were speaking orders, water being poured over burned flesh, nurses running about- and Ed laid like a doll on the gurney, singed and uncaring.

A nurse raced around the left side of the bed, IV pole in tow, and picked up his limp left arm from the sheets.

Ed turned to look at her apathetically, golden eyes dull- but his entire posture changed when he saw the needle in her hand.

" _NOOO!"_ he kicked out wildly, startling the mass of doctors and nurses working on him, flailing wildly.

It was the most beautiful shout Roy had heard in awhile- it meant Ed was concious, and that he still had fight in him.

Doctors were shouting orders- nurses holding down flailing limbs- and Ed turned to look at Roy, golden eyes glassy with exhaustion and teary with desperation. "Help me."

Roy found himself beside the gurney, cupping Ed's chin in his hand, making the boy look at him. "Keep your eyes on me, Edward."

"B-but the _nee-_ the _needle..._ " Ed whimpered, looking so much younger as he strained against the nurses holding him down.

"Don't think about it, Ed. just keep looking at me, alright?" his voice had grown thick with emotion, and he blinked heavily, struggling to school his features.

Ed's expression morphed from one of fear to one of concern. "Colonel... are you... crying? W-wha happened?"

"Nothing, Edward. he was gripping the boy's automail hand in his own. Could Ed feel sensation on his metal limb? Roy wasn't sure. "Just focus on me."

"Okay." Edward let his head fall back against the pillow, looking exhausted. "This is all just a dream anyways. Might as well go with it."

"The boy is in shock, Sir. Keep him talking for as long as you can." the nurse who had started the IV looked over at him seriously, and Roy nodded.

Doctors were currently clustered around Ed's right arm, scalpel descending on charred black- the worst of the burns- and stripping off skin beyond saving.

Roy's mouth opened for a brief second- but Ed didn't seem to notice at all, focusing completely on Roy.

"Are you in pain, Ed?"

"...Wha?" Ed looked at him groggily. "No. Why would I be hurting? 'S all... just a dream... anyway." Ed frowned, tongue flicking out to lick chapped lips. "But I'm thirsty..."

Roy would've left the boy's side to get him water- but that meant leaving him, and it wasn't something he was prepared to do at the moment.

He looked over- the doctors were nearly finished slicing blackened skin from his left hand, scalpels flashing, revealing fleshy red tissue beneath. It made Roy's stomach turn.

Ed shuddered slightly. "...I don't feel so good." he admitted quickly, pale tongue darting out to moisten his lips again.

"I know, Ed. I'm sorry."

"Why? ...S' not our fault." Ed let his eyes fall closed for a moment, before they flickered open.

"What's happening to me?" he asked, voice softer- he sounded just like a child.

"The doctors are fixing you up. I burned you, Ed- badly. I didn't see you in time- you were caught in the flames. This whole thing is my fault- I failed you- both as a superior and an officer- and I'm sorry."

"...that was rude of you." Edward said, looking annoyed, though his expression held no malice. He looked up at Roy desperately. "...water? Please?"

Roy nodded. "Alright." he turned, jogging away. He managed to find a drinking fountain and a coffee station- but by the time he came back, Fullmetal was gone.

The paper cup crashed to the floor, water spilling everywhere, and Roy looked around frantically...

The same dark-eyed nurse from before was there, placing a calming hand on his forearm.

"They took him into the operating theater."

"Operating theater? To do what!?" Roy demanded, eyes wide.

The nurse frowned. "The boy has third degree burns on his left hand and second degree burns on his forearm and left side and torso. He'd have worse- we thing there's some damage on his thigh from where his automail connects, as well. Some of the tissue on his hand is beyond saving- the doctors want to do the best they can to remove the skin beyond saving and clean up what they can."

Roy nodded, swallowing. "And... he'll live?"

The nurse's gaze was serious. "I make no guarantees- burns like his are quite traumatic and take a large toll on the body- but if he holds up through surgery and none of the wounds become infected... his condition will be serious but not critical."

Roy breathed out a sigh of relief. Edward was going to live.

"But with burns like that- he'll have an extensive recovery/ He'll be in excruciating pain- and he'll most likely need a caretaker for awhile, to make sure he takes his medication and changes his bandages. I assume you're his guardian?"

Roy was about to say no- but he stopped himself. There was a painful twisting in his gut- e'd done this to Fullmetal, the least he could do was take care of the kid during his recovery. He nodded. "You could say that, yes."

The nurse nodded. "Right. I'll have someone take you upstairs so you can be in the room when he comes out of surgery. From there, we'll assess how he is when he wakes up, and talk about what- and when- we plan on releasing him from the hospital."

A woman in scrubs with bright green eyes led him upstairs to a small, sterile room with an empty bed and nodded to him, giving him a sympathetic smile. Roy fell into the chair beside the empty bed- it was going to be a long, painful wait.

* * *

The statico of footsteps running down the hall sounded, before in a flash of navy blue and military boots, Maes Hughes stumbled into the hospital room, breathless.

"Roy?" he looked around the room, confused, when he saw the empty bed. "I came as soon as I could when I heard about Ed... where is he?"

"Operating room." Roy said dully, staring straight ahead. "Some of the skin was beyond saving. They wanted to clean him up as best they could before they bandaged him, to my understanding."

Hughes nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose and looking pensive.

"Listen- I heard what happened. I don't know what anyone's told you, but this wasn't your fault..."

Roy's head snapped to the side, smoldering charcoal gaze threatening to burn his best friend. "It wasn't, huh?" he asked sarcastically. "Because last I checked- I was the only one capable of that amount of destruction." he sounded bitter, staring at the tiled floor as though it'd done something to personally upset him.

"Roy..."

"This isn't the first time I've burned children, Hughes." Roy looked up at him, forearms resting on his upper thighs as he leaned forward, coal eyes looking forlorn. "I thought after Ishval- I'd never have to hear a kid scream like that again. But... he sounded _just_ like _them._ His _screams_ \- he sounded just like an Ishvalan child..." his voice had grown thick with emotion, and he cleared his throat, coughing. Hughes was polite enough to ignore them.

"Nothing can change what I've done. The pain I've inflicted can never be repaired. But _god,_ seeing Ed like that- it just shows how unspeakable my actions are."

Roy looked up when Hughes placed a hand on his shoulder.

"We can't go back, Roy. The memories would drown us. We have to keep moving forward... I know you never would've done this intentionally, and so does Ed-"

"No, he doesn't. He never saw it coming. I heard him screaming and then... nothing. He was crying like a child, screaming for us not to touch him... But I doubt he knows I'm the one who did it. He was in pain, and some sort of shock..." Roy buried his face in his gloved hands. "I doubt he'll ever forgive me."

"Ed's a smart kid, and more understanding than you think. I think you under estimate him." Hughes said, looking thoughtful.

"You didn't see him. His skin- the smell of burnt hair..." Roy shuddered, looking forlorn.

The squeaking of wheels sounded in the hallway, and instantly Roy was on his feet, staring at the door anxiously.

A gurney was wheeled into the room- a small, blonde figure laid on it.

Edward's right automail arm was exposed, his right flesh leg relatively unscathed. His torso was wrapped in bandages, covering his injured left side- his fleshy right arm looked like a mummy's arm, thickly wrapped in white gauze, fingers mittened in bandages. A white sheet was folded in a narrow rectangle over the boy's waist, and save for a ring of bandages where Ed's stump made contact with his automail leg, which appeared unscathed.

The left side of his face was angry red and blistered- gauze pads taped above and below his eye, obscuring most of the skin. but if his cracked, dry lips were any indication, his face was been burned.

Despite the large amount of bandages, Edward's face was relaxed, most of his blonde hair fanning out on the pillow behind him as he slept, completely relaxed. An IV dripped steadily into his left arm, peering out from among the bandages.

Roy watched as the doctors moved the boy onto the bed, scrutinizing every move. Edward made no indications of awareness as he was arranged on the bed, and the doctor nodded to him. "He held up well."

Roy nodded, ducking past the man and moving a chair to sit beside the kid's bed, hesitating for a brief moment before reaching out to grab the boy's non-bandaged, automail hand.

Hughes stepped into the hall with the doctor, speaking in hushed tones.

Roy scanned every inch of the kid- from the singed ends of his blonde locks to his bandages. He looked better- more calm than before, at least. Still- a spike of fear ran through him. Ed was so small- like the child he truly was laying on the bed, unburned skin nearly as pale as the sheets he laid on.

 _What have I done to you?_ he thought, despairing.

Edward twitched slightly, expression changing.

"Rest, Ed."

"...a...al?"

"I'll have someone send for him, Edward. He'll be here soon. Get some sleep."

There was a small squeeze on his hand, before Edward slipped back into nothingness.

Hughes had stepped back into the room, looking serious.

"Roy. We need to talk."

Roy looked up, dark eyes serious. "Later. Right now I need you to do something for me. Send for Alphonse."

Roy paused, opening his mouth before closing it, nodding slowly, and turning and leaving the room, presumably to do as Roy said.

Roy sighed, looking down at Ed. "Hang in there, kid."


	5. Resolve

**Alright- a bit of emotional angst as Roy struggles, Ed realizes what's happened and manages to work through some of his own issues, while interacting with Hughes and Hawkeye.**

 **Please review! :)**

* * *

Two long hours passed. Roy simply sat beside the boy's bed, listening to the clock on the wall tick away time and watching the small, bandaged chest rise and fall and golden eyes dart around beneath closed lids.

Hughes was in and out- at some point, there was a coffee cup beside him, and he found himself ignoring it.

The sound of high heels clicking on tile brought him out of his thoughts, however, and he looked over to see Hawkeye standing in the doorway, chocolate eyes concerned.

"How is he?" Roy said calmly, running his fingers lightly over the bandaged mitten that was the boy's flesh right arm.

"Holding up." Roy said simply, eyes weary.

She nodded, stepping forward and eyeing the boy she'd grown to love like a son carefully, reaching out carefully to brush blonde bangs away from the bandages, a tender look crossing her features for a brief moment before she looked up.

"It's my duty to inform you, Sir, that this wasn't your fault."

"Hughes tried it already. My flames- my fault." Roy said, expression darkening.

Riza frowned. "I doubt Ed would want you to blame yourself."

"Yeah, well- I'd ask him, if he were concious. But he's not. That's my fault too." Roy said, voice bitter. He frowned suddenly- "He's going to be in a lot of pain. He'll have every right to be angry, as will Alphonse..."

His stomach dropped at the thought of the panicked suit of armor clanking down the halls, looking frantically for his older brother. He felt sick at the thought of what he'd done o the kids...

He was supposed to look out for the Elric brothers. Not nearly kill them.

He frowned, looking up at Riza seriously. "I need you to do me a favor. You have your car?"

"Of course."

"I need you to go get Alphonse. I asked Hughes to send for him- but the military dorms are across town, and I don't feel right making the kid find his way here himself. Not when this is my fault- the poor kid is probably nearly beside himself about Ed, anyways." Roy frowned, turning and casting a glance at Ed's still form.

"Of course, Sir. But only if you do something for me in return."

"Oh?" Roy cocked an eyebrow. "i was under the impression I was the one giving the orders here, lieutenant."

"You are. But as your adviser, I have to tell you not to beat yourself up over this. You may blame yourself, and I can't change that- but Edward needs you strong. Put your feelings aside- if not for your sake, for his. He needs someone strong right now. He needs _you._ "

Roy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, frustrated. "The kid has second degree burns on 40% of his body, and you're telling me he needs me?"

"Those boys need _someone._ He's only thirteen- so I suggest you stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about the boys." Riza said, gaze hardening, before she turned, heels clicking as she left the room, leaving to presumably to do as Roy said and fetch Alphonse.

Once again, he was left alone- the only sounds her heels fading as she walked down the tile hallway, Edward's breathing, and the clock.

* * *

Edward's breathing hitched slightly, and Roy looked down at the blonde to see bleary golden eyes opening, roving around the room. The normally vibrant goldenrod were dull with confusion.

"Edward?"

Slowly, yellow eyes focused on him, lips moving slowly. "...colonel?"

"Fullmetal. Good to see you awake." he slipped back into formality- it was a habit, really, a defense mechanism.

The boy moaned slightly, twitching and shifting on the bed slightly.

"Are you in pain?" Roy asked hurriedly, leaning forward. His eyes darted towards the door nervously- perhaps he should run for the doctor...

"Nnnguuh. I feel... weird..." Ed's words were thick, eyes still dull and glassy, uncomprehending.

"Easy, kid. It's probably just the anesthesia wearing off." Roy said calmly. Even though he'd fallen back to his usual authoritative way of speaking to the kid, he had yet to let go of the bandaged hand.

Something in his tone seemed to soothe the boy, and for once- he listened to Roy, laying back on the pillows and staring up at the ceiling as though it were the most interesting thing in the world.

Roy watched the spark slowly return to the boy's eyes- flickering and dim at first, but slowly, awareness came back. Like the glittering of a candle flame- it was far from the usual inferno of passion swirling in those irises, but it was far better than before.

Even as clarity returned, though, the boy didn't move his bandaged hand.

Instead, he turned, looking over at Roy carefully. "Mustang?" his voice was raspy, but much clearer than before.

"What happened?"

"What do you remember?" Roy asked, surveying the boy hesitantly.

"I... uh... I was chasing after the guy. The alchemist on a rampage. And fire... it hurt..."

He started trying to sit up, only to gasp in pain. Roy quickly pushed him back to the mattress. "Don't do that! You're hurt, Ed- just lay still."

Edward's eyes had widened, however, when he saw the bandages covering his torso and arm.

Ed paused, looking over at Roy, uncertain. "It hurts." he admitted quietly. "What happened to me?"

"You were trying to get the alchemist from behind- you jumped out and didn't realize I was engaging the man from the front. I used my alchemy- and you got caught in the flames."

"H-how?" Ed paused, looking down, shocked. "How bad is it!?" he looked up, anxious. "I can't stay like this- I have to take care of Al!"

"Easy, Fullmetal!" Roy raised his voice slightly, trying to calm the kid down. He'd expected to be shouted at- he'd expected the kid to scream and rage at him, not to have him worry for his brother- but it was such an _Edward_ thing to do and say, and it only served to shatter his heart more.

"Easy. They're second and third degree burns-" he paused. "They should heal, but you have to _give them time._ "

"R-right."

"The doctors are optimistic about your recovery. You need to stay calm. Do you need anything? Water?"

"N-no." Ed frowned, head falling back to the pillow. Roy frowned, watching the kid take a shaky break. tears leaked down the corner of his eyes.

"It _hurts..."_

"I'll get the doctor." Roy turned, heading for the door.

"No!"

Something in Fullmetal's tone stopped him cold- he turned, only to see Fullmetal in tears, automail arm reaching across the bed towards him.

"D-don't leave. It hurts, _gah_... don't leave me alone!"

Roy's eyes widened slightly- but there was no arguing with the desperation in the by's tone, and he quickly re-installed himself in the chair beside the boy's bed, taking his hand.

"I'm not going anywhere." he said, reassuring the kid.

Edward was breathing raggedly for the next minute or two, struggling to school his expression and wincing.

Within two minutes, however, Edward had schooled his frantic expression to a calm but pained one and steadied his breathing.

"S-sorry about that." he managed through grit teeth.

Roy blinked. "There's nothing to apologize for, Edward. You're in pain."

"Y-yeah, well- I'll get over it." Ed said firmly, closing his eyes for a moment before looking up.

"Alright?" Roy asked.

"Y-yeah." Ed nodded, voice still thick with pain.

Once Edward seemed to have relaxed slightly, Roy spoke, brows furrowed. "Do you hate me, Fullmetal?"

Ed frowned, looking over at him in confusion. "Should I?"

"I wouldn't blame you if you did. I burned you, after all."

" Was a freak accident. If you'd been trying to hit me- you wouldn't have. ...could've happened to anyone- but it had to be you, you bastard."

Roy frowned. While Fullmetal seemed annoyed, there was no real hatred in his expression- only a grimace and a bit of reluctance. It wasn't really an answer- but Fullmetal's eyes were blinking rapidly.

"W-where's Al?" he looked exhausted and pale. "H-he's gonna be worried..."

"I sent Hawkeye to pick him up. He'll be here soon."

"Oh..." Ed blinked owlishly. The kid was clearly struggling to stay awake. It was both concerning he was run down and endearing he'd try to wait up for his younger brother.

"Rest, Edward. Alphonse will be here when you wake up."

"'M not tired. I just woke up..."

"Sleep. That's an order." Roy couldn't keep the grin from his face. It was so like the stubborn Fullmetal he was used to- he was clearly hurt, but not broken.

"Don't tell me what to do." Ed growled quietly, eyes drooping. Roy watched the boy's eyes droop before he was jerking them open, struggling to stay awake. He kept it up for one minute, two... before he was finally pulled under, back into the embrace of sleep.

* * *

"The doctor says he'll pull through. But he's going to need some pretty serious care to make sure none of the burns get infected." Hughes stood out in the hallway speaking quietly to Roy, who'd crossed his arms and was listening seriously.

"He's going to need help and room to heal. More room than a military dorm room. And it isn't fair to saddle Alphonse with that. He's only eleven."

Roy frowned, listening.

Hughes ran a hand through his hair, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "Now I haven't talked to Gracia yet, but I know she wouldn't object to setting him up in the guest room. It'll be a little hectic, but she knows Edward. Things might get a little cramped with Alphonse, but we'll make due..."

"No."

"What? It'll be fine. It's better than leaving the kid to fend for himself in the dorms..." Hughes protested.

"I said no. Edward will be coming home with me. I've got two spare rooms in my house, and I don't have a wife and four year old to worry about. It'll be far less cramped and I'll have more time to devote to him."

Hughes blinked, surprised. "And... you're sure about this?"

"I'm the one who put him in this situation. It's the least I can do to take care of him- and Alphonse- until he's back on his feet."

"Roy." Hughes frowned. "It's going to take a lot more than you realize to take care of him. Dealing with a kid takes more than you ever realized you had- and more than just a sense of obligation."

"I'm doing this. I don't expect it to be easy." Roy said calmly.

Hughes sighed. "And there's no way I can talk you out of this?"

"No."

Hughes nodded. "Alright. Ed should be here for a few days, at least, so you'll have time to get ready- and if you need something, you call, alright? If I'm not there, Gracia will drop everything- she knows those boys almost as much as I do."

Roy nodded. "I appreciate your support."

Hughes shrugged, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah, well- I don't envy you. I don't think you know exactly what you're getting yourself into."

"I know Fullmetal- and I've dealt with burns. I'll take care of him- and Alphonse. It's the least I can do."


	6. In Too Deep?

**Alright- I am so, so sorry that I took so long to update! Nursing school is INSANE, and life is kind of super crazy lately... But I'm still here, still working on this fic!**

 **Please review! Reviews encourage me to write more and update faster!**

* * *

Two days later, Roy watched the brothers from where he leaned in the doorway.

Edward was sitting up in bed, despite his bandages, and eating clumsily with his automail arm.

"It's all over your face, brother…." Alphonse said, giggling slightly at the mashes potatoes smeared over Ed's mouth.

"Yeah, well… you try eating with you non-dominant hand for a change!" Ed quipped with no real bite, ending up with mashed potatoes smeared on his opposite cheek, and some of it stuffed up his nostril as he fumbled.

He frowned, huffing out- and mashed potato exploded out his nose and back onto the tray.

"Brother!" Al sounded horrified.

Ed sniffed slightly, grinning, before he was laughing….

Al dissolved into laughter at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Tell me you're not going to eat that."

"So what if I am?"

Roy smirked slightly at the exchange. Despite his condition, Fullmetal seemed to have gotten some of his spirit back.

He cleared his throat quietly from where he leaned against the doorframe, and both boys looked over at him.

"Oh, hey, Colonel." Ed sat up a little straighter, scrubbing at the mashed potato smeared on his face with his bandaged arm and wincing slightly.

"Morning, Fullmetal. I have good news for you- the doctor said you could go home today."

"Really? Alright!" Ed pumped a metal fist in the air, looking excited. "C'mon, Al- let's get out of here!" he completely forgot about his tray, looking towards the door frantically.

He'd been walking around for a day or so to use the restroom, but moving too quickly still pulled at the burns, and Roy frowned.

"Stay on that bed, Fullmetal. I'll go get a wheelchair."

"But why? I'm totally fine- I can walk!" Ed protested, looking at his challengingly.

Roy frowned. "I've seen you in enough pain, Fullmetal. I'm not going to watch you stretch the healing skin and rip yourself up further- if that isn't enough to motivate you, then I'll have Alphonse keep you there."

Ed huffed, staring down at the floor. "Whatever."

Roy came back a few minutes later with a wheelchair- Ed took one look at the device and scowled, remembering the time he'd spent in one, missing half his limbs, for awhile.

Roy moved to help the boy shift, and Ed pointedly shrugged him off, transferring himself, albeit shakily, into the chair.

Alphonse pushed the chair, and Edward didn't complain.

Perhaps he was just more comfortable with Al than him… or maybe he really _was_ mad at Roy, despite what he'd said earlier.

Still, as they headed down the sterile hallways and stepped outside into the sunlight, Ed smiled slightly- finally. The fresh air felt much better than the sterile scent of the hospital, and the sun felt nice on his skin. He was glad to be going home.

"I can walk, Al." Edward protested, more quietly, as they reached the car.

"Of course you can- I just don't want you to scrape your bandages on the car." Alphonse said. Edward leaned into his offered arm, relenting, before he was slowly, carefully orienting himself in the back seat of the car.

Ed sighed, leaning his head against the window and feeling glad to be moving again. He shifted uncomfortably- he was still in his hospital gown, and he was noticing the unpleasant draft. He'd be glad to get some real clothes on soon.

He frowned, remembering his badly burned leg. The skin had severely blistered- some of the blisters had ruptured, leaving sticky, painful red skin behind, and others hadn't. But still, it would be hard to get on pants regardless, due to the pain.

Maybe he could cut off the pantleg, and just manage to slide his leg through it…. And then he could just wear a sleeveless shirt and ignore the rest.

Still- it was going to be hard to go out in public with one exposed, bandaged leg… he'd look weird.

Not that he'd be going out in public much anyways. He was hoping the Colonel would give him a few days to hunker down in the dorms and get used to his new… condition… before making him go back to the office. Even the bastard Colonel didn't expect him to go right back to work, did he?

Even then… he was a little worried. He didn't expect himself to be able to go sprinting around after leads right away… and honestly, he was tired. It was hard to walk long distances, hard to do much himself… he got tired easily, and while he was loathe to admit it, he was going to need time to heal….

"Hey." Ed looked out the window, surprised. "You missed the turn. The dorms are back that way."

Hawkeye frowned, looking over at Roy from where she sat in the driver's seat.

"You haven't told him yet?"

Roy cleared his throat.

"I don't like where this is going." Ed said, voice taking on a hard edge as he narrowed his eyes.

Roy sighed. "Fullmetal. I held off telling you this because I didn't want to upset you… but you won't be staying in the dorms. Your condition is serious, and we didn't feel it'd be appropriate to have you try and recover in a crowded dorm…."

"So you're putting us up in a hotel or something?"

"…not exactly." Alphonse spoke up.

"You need more supervision and care than that, Fullmetal. You'll be staying with me, in my house, for the duration of your recovery."

Fullmetal jolted forward slightly, eyes wide. "…what?"

"You're staying at my house, Fullmetal. Alphonse, as well."

Ed leaned back slightly, taking a deep breath and looking up. Alright- he could adjust to this. He just… needed a minute. It was a partial relief, really- clearly, he wasn't expected to jump back into duty until he was fully capable.

"It's for the best, brother." Alphonse said quietly from where he was hunched, hands resting in his lap.

"Yeah- sure, whatever." Ed said, sounding disinterested. "But don't expect me to stay any longer than I have to."

"Of course not." Roy said with a small smile. It was clear that despite his normally fiery attitude, Fullmetal must've realized it was for his own good. Maybe this wouldn't be as rough as he'd thought.

* * *

"Everything to your liking, Fullmetal?" Roy asked, leaning in the doorway as Ed stood in the guest room on the second floor, looking around critically.

On the wall opposite the doorway was two glass-paned windows that let in the afternoon sunlight. The wallpaper was adorned with roses and s scattering of other flowers on a pale green backdrop. A twin bed sat in the center of the room, atop the hardwood floor. Next to the window was a bookcase of old alchemy texts, and an end table sat beside the bed with a kerosene lamp beside it….

"…yeah. Thanks." Ed reached up, running his metal fingers through his blonde locks as he scrutinized the scene. He was still dressed in his hospital gown, and hadn't had the time or the dexterity to braid his hair, with his bandaged fingers, but still, the room was… unexpectdedly welcoming.

It'd been a long time since he'd been in a place that wasn't stainless steel plain of the military barracks, as plain and generic as could possibly be. It was nice to be somewhere so… inhabited.

"Hawkeye is headed back to the barracks with your brother. He's going to pick up some clothes and things for you. Bathroom is across the hall- my room's at the very end of the hall. You need anything?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"Alright then. I'll come get you when dinner's ready."

Ed listened for one moment, two, as his footsteps faded down the hall.

He counted to ten before he took a shaky step towards the bed, half-sitting half-falling onto the bed, and let out a sigh.

He hadn't wanted to show it, but he was exhausted- leaving the hospital, settling into a new place- even just walking up the stairway to get to his room- had chipped away at him, little by little.

Now, here he was, exhausted and in pain. His left arm was stinging- the burns on his right leg puled painfully with each step.

His left side was still tender form where the bandages covered it, and even his cheek, which wasn't so bad before, seemed to pulsate in time with his throbbing headache.

He let out a long, slow breath. Everything ached- he leaned back, his eyes opening and the ceiling slowly coming into focus.

He was so tired. He convinced himself that five minutes of rest, or even just closing his eyes, couldn't hurt….

* * *

"Hey Fullmetal, diner's r-" Roy paused, stopping in the doorway for a moment to survey the scene before him, first in shock, then with a small smile.

Edward was sprawled out on the bed, still in his hospital gown- his undamaged, right automail arm splayed above his head, ponytail resting messily behind him, the lower half of his automail leg hanging off the bed….

His head was turned slightly, his bandaged cheek exposed, lips parted, eyes closed, a somewhat peaceful expression on his face.

Roy crossed his arms, smirking slightly. "Well, this is a surprise." He muttered to himself, surveying the scene with bemusement.

He stepped closer to the bed, scrutinizing Ed carefully.

The boy was pale- it was to be expected, really, with his injuries, but that didn't make it any less concerning. His wounds, coupled with being moved into a new place besides the hospital, must've tired him out.

Roy sighed, considering. The brat needed rest, but he also needed to eat.

He leaned down, quietly grabbing ahold of the boy's metal ankle and pulling his automail leg up so it rested on the bed beside his undamaged flesh one, into a more natural position. For a moment he was surprised by how heavy it was- how could someone as small ad Edward manage to lift such a heavy metal with every step? Then again, Edward was stubborn as all get out….

And he still had to make the decision for the boy- food or sleep.

He took one look at the boy's peaceful expression, unmarred by the pain and seriousness that he always wore when he awoke. He looked just like a child. He sighed, grabbing a blanket from the closet and covering the boy with it.

He'd let Edward sleep for now. It was only around six in the evening, anyways, he'd put Ed's food in the oven to keep in warm and have the boy eat when he woke him up at night to give him his medications and change his bandages….

* * *

"Fullmetal. Wake up."

"Nuuugggghhh…Al…?" Ed frowned, eyes opening sluggishly as he waited for the room to come into focus.

Roy waited a moment for Ed to get his bearings.

"C-corporal?"

"That's me, kid." Roy affirmed him.

"w-where's Al?"

"He's in his room. I can go get him if you want, but I need to change your bandages- I wasn't sure you'd want him to see…."

"No. H-he'll be upset if he saw it…." Edward said, the words feeling like marbles in his mouth. He was talking around exhaustion and sleep, and he still felt out of it….

"Alright. Hey- you hungry?"

"N-no… 'm not hungry…."

Roy frowned. "At least try to eat something, will you?"

Ed was silent. Roy ducked out of the room, coming back in with a bowl of mashed potatoes. He propped the boy up on a set of pillows and placed the dish in his lap.

Ed looked down shakily- it was painful to watch, really- the boy shook so badly as he tried to feed himself, probably as mixture of exhaustion and having to eat with his nondominant hand.

He had three bites before he let the spoon that fell back into the bowl.

Roy frowned but said nothing, putting the dish on the beside table before.

Still, he had to change the kid's bandages.

"Your bandages need to be changed, Fullmetal."

"I-I know." Ed was struggling to sit up from where he was propped up on the pillows. As exhausted as he was, there was no way the kid had the dexterity to change his bandages, let alone try to fed himself….

Roy sighed, ducking out of the room. He returned with a bowl of saline, fresh gauze pads, and bandage wraps.

Edward was clumsy attempting to unwrap the bandages that circled his torso, and Roy frowned, gently pushing back on the boy's chest.

"Sit back, kid."

Ed frowned, but didn't protest, letting his eyes fall closed. Roy finished unwrapping the rolls of ACE bandages that covered Edward's torso, looking down at the gauze pads covering the wounds.

"This might hurt a bit…."

"Just do it." Edward muttered, sounding exhausted. The fire that'd been in his eyes only hours before was gone, replaced with dull exhaustion and bitterness.

Roy nodded. "I'll try to be quick…."

He moved to pull off the first gauze pad as quickly as possible. Ed winced- He still had three more pads covering the burned areas on the boy's side, and he made as quick work of it as he could….

By the time he was done, Edward's metal hand was twisted in the bed sheets, face twitching.

Roy frowned, but moved on, examining the boy carefully. The ruptured blisters and angry red skin had given way- a moderate amount of clear drainage had escaped, sticking to the bandages and causing more pain when Roy had tried to gently but swiftly remove the old gauze pads.

He moved quickly, soaking one of the new gauze pads in saline and dabbing at the wounds as gently as possible.

Ed's face twisted into a grimace, and Roy worked as fast as humanly possible, dabbing the wounds dry, before he was placing fresh, dry gauze pads on the open areas and sitting Edward up, pointedly ignoring the way the boy was shaking slightly as eh re-wrapped his chest.

"Is that too tight?"

"N-no."

"Alright. I'm sorry, Edward- I know this hurts…."

"Shut up and just finish it already." Ed barked, looking down at him, teeth grit into a half snarl.

"Alright then." Roy was as quick as humanly possible unwrapping the ace bandages on the boy's right arm, from his shoulder down to his mitten-like right hand….

Ruptured blisters exposed painful scarlet skin, wrapped in dead skin in some places, but especially the boy's hand.

He was as quickly as possible cleaning the boy's upper and lower arm with saline, drying, and re-bandaging and wrapping it.

However, his hand was a different story. It was encircled in flaky white dead skin. Roy grabbed a pair of scissors he'd been using to cut the ace bandages, trimming back the excess dead skin but leaving the very edges of it so as not to damage healthy- but not beyond saving- burned skin.

Roy grabbed the bowl of saline, lifting Ed's hand.

"This might sting a little." And he dunked the boy's hand into the saline.

Ed grimaced- Roy was taking a clean towel and drying the burns, taking special care to dry the webbing between the boy's fingers, before placing fresh bandage pads on the boy's hand and skin and re-wrapping it like a mummy.

"How're we doing, Edward?"

Ed simply glared at him, though he was still wincing slightly.

Roy removed the bandage from the boy's cheek, quickly swabbing it with wet saline, dabbing it dry, and replacing a fresh bandage.

"Alright. That's it, kid- you did fine."

"Whatever…." Ed muttered, sinking back against the pillows that'd propped him up and letting his eyes fall shut.

"Hey, don't go to sleep on me yet, kid. You still have medication to take…."

Roy frowned, pulling the pill bottles from his pocket. Two of these every twelve hours, one of that every eight, this one was for pain….

He was still horribly out of his depth.

Finally, once he'd read everything twice and was sure he'd gotten he doses correct, he handed the pills to Ed.

"Right… let me go grab you a glass of water…."

Ed threw back the pills and swallowed them dry, sinking back against the pillows before he was rolling away from him, turning, back facing Roy.

"Or not…. You need anything else, Ed?"

"Go." Ed muttered, sounding thoroughly irked.

"Goodnight, kid."

Ed said nothing, and Roy quickly gathered up the soiled bandages and left.

As soon as he'd shut the door behind him he leaned against the wall and sighed. It Edward was going to be that snippy and short with him whenever he needed to be cared for, it was going to be a rough couple weeks.

Roy frowned, striding down the hallway to the next room.

A single candle burned in the second bedroom, and he ducked inside.

"How are you doing, Alphonse?"

The suit of armor looked up from where he was seated on the bed, the alchemy book he was reading looking out of place in his large, metal hands.

"Fine, thank you." Al set his book aside, sitting up. "How's brother?"

"Truthfully, a little pissed off. But I can't blame him- changing bandages is always painful. He should be alright in the morning."

 _I hope. Maybe I'm in over my head here. Maybe I should call Hughes…. No. No need to get anyone riled up yet. I can handle caring for a teenager. Ed's got every right to be pissed off- he's tired, in new surroundings, and in pain. The best I can do is be patient with him. We'll see how things to tomorrow morning…._

"Is there anything you need?" Truthfully, Roy was a little out of his depth with Alphonse, as well. The large suit of armor didn't need to eat, or sleep, or use the bathroom, and Roy was left at a loss for what the _boy did need_ to survive, and how he could ask him about it without being insensitive….

"I'm alright, thanks."

"Alright. My room's as the end of the hall, if you need anything, just let me know." Roy said, stepping backwards to see himself out. He turned. "Goodnight, Alphonse."

"Goodnight, Corporal."

At least one of his charges was doing alright. Maybe he wasn't half bad at being a guardian after all.

* * *

 **Well, thoughts?**

 **Roy's still getting the hang of taking care of Ed, and Ed is struggling to cope with having to have someone take care of him. He's upset, cranky, and in pain, and everyone is struggling to adjust to the new arrangements and settle in.**

 **Please review! I hope you liked it! :)**


	7. Not Too Bad

2:20 in the morning. That was all Ed was aware of as he fisted the blankets in his metal fingers, biting his lip and shaking slightly, watching the ticking of the clock.

 _Everything_ ached. His burned skin throbbed- he could feel it. The sides of his fingers throbbed into each other from within their mitten-like wrap. Waves of pain cascaded up his arm, the tugging on his wrist alerting him another blister had probably ruptured. Trails of agony wound up his arm, curling like the edges of paper when put to a flame- demolished. It was absolute agony up to his shoulder.

His left side was no better- he'd made the mistake of rolling over- searing fingers of pain were clutching his burning skin, it was as though he were laying on a bed of hot coals...

It was hell.

He'd tried to go back to sleep. But the constant, pulsing agony- it felt as though a thousand lit cigarettes were being put out inside of him- was making it impossible. He was shaking slightly,- every shuddering breath he took pulled on the already tortured, burned skin of his side, it was as though his skin were tearing itself from his bones...

He attempted to roll onto his right side, only to fear white hot agony streak up his side. Lights flashed before his eyes, and for one horrible moment, his breath was stolen from him...

Ever so slowly, he sat up. he tasted blood from biting his lip- but it was the only thing keeping him from crying out.

He shuffled into the hallway, painfully slow- burned skin stretched and throbbed, he could feel the blood pulsing under damaged skin with every He movement. He leaned on the wall, being sure to tread lightly passed Al's room before thinking.

He needed a plan- he needed pain meds. The bathroom was down the hall, if he could find some aspirin...

It must've taken him ten minutes to fumble painfully into the bathroom. He found a book of matches and fumbled to light the candle, feeling a twinge of pain as he reached for the medicine cabinet with his bad hand by mistake.

He grit his teeth and screwed his eyes shut, taking a deep, steadying breath. _One, two, three..._

He stopped counting once he hit 17, opening his eyes slowly and nudging open the medicine cabinet. A bottle of antiseptic, some band aids, a razor, aftershave... On the very top shelf was a bottle that looked hopeful. The problem was, it was the top shelf.

He took a large breath, steeling himself, before he was hauling himself onto the sink, pulling his legs up...

He leaned against the wall for a moment, fighting back nausea and dizziness from the pain. Breathe in, breathe out. He was almost there- now that he was on his knees on the sink, he could reach up and grab the bottle...

He felt the skin on his arm tear/rip as his wrapped hand came in contact with the pills and recoiled- there was a significant clatter as he knocked several items out in his sudden movement, and he swore quietly, slumping against the wall and trying to catch his breath...

Suddenly light flickered into the room, and he blinked, surprised for a moment, before he made out Roy standing in the doorway, charcoal eyes looking at him carefully.

"Fullmetal? What are you doing?" Charcoal eyes scrutinized him carefully in the warm glow of the kerosene lamp...

"A-asprin." he muttered, cursing himself. Damn, his voice sounded hoarse and strained.

Roy frowned. "You're in pain?"

"Y-yeah, guess so..."

Steady hands were helping him slowly climb down from the sink, and he leaned on the wall heavily.

Roy guided him into the room across the hall, helping him settle onto the couch. He set the lamp on the desk adjacent to the couch and took a seat, glancing at the clock. He still had an hour before Ed's next dose of pain medication was due.

"How badly does it hurt?"

Ed was gritting his teeth- Roy noticed the way he gripped the throw pillow roughly in his metal hand. "Throbbing. Pulling. Like sandpaper is shredding my skin with every move... Sorry I woke you. Can I just have some aspirin?" Ed asked, brow furrowed as he screwed his eyes shut.

Roy frowned. "I can give you your next dose of pain medication in an hour."

Ed's eyes were open, posture rigid, and for a moment Roy thought the boy looked anxious...

"I need to move." Ed was slowly swinging his leg over the side of the couch, wincing slightly, before he attempted to stand.

"Hang on a minute Ed..."

But Ed was already moving to stand, knees buckling a moment later- Roy scrambled to keep the boy from hitting the floor.

"Fullmetal, you need to sit still." Roy barked, slightly annoyed by the boy's recklessness.

"I _can't._ " Ed sounded alarmingly close to breaking, and Roy looked down, surprised. Ed was shaking slightly, and Roy helped the boy back onto the couch, sitting him back. "It hurts, and I need to move or I'm gonna go nuts."

Roy frowned.

" _Please,_ it hurts..."

Roy looked at the clock helplessly. There had to be _something_ he could do...

"What's your favorite place?" he needed to distract the kid.

"My house." Ed muttered.

"Back in Risembool?"

"Yeah." Ed said brusquely.

"What does it look like?"

Ed's brow creased even more. "You've been there, bastard..." there was more bite behind his insult than usual- and it stung more, because Roy knew the he had caused the boy's pain. His brow furrowed in concentration. "White." he managed finally. "it was white."

"Was?"

"It's gone now."

Roy frowned. "What happened to it?"

"It burned down." Ed's expression was tense but void of all emotion- he could've just as easily been talking about the weather.

Roy would've laughed at the irony if the kid hadn't been in so much pain. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be. I'm the one who burned it."

Suddenly, all the words were stolen from him. What did he say to that?

He watched Ed's metal hand tighten grip on the couch cushion and frowned. Clearly his poor attempts at conversation were failing...

"Did I ever tell you about my days in the military academy?"

"...no." Fullmetal's golden eyes were open, rather than screwed shut, and while they were still dull with pain, he looked relatively interested.

"I studied alchemy for a few years, then went to the military academy before I was a state alchemist. It's where I got stuck with Hughes- he was my dorm mate. Always had some crazy plan, too- he managed to rappel down from the third floor of the dormitories to go out and meet a girl..." Roy smirked slightly at the memory.

"But he got back late the next morning. Nearly got himself expelled..."

"How'd he get out of it?" Edward's voice was still small, but not as hoarse as it'd been, and he looked interested.

Roy scoffed. "He didn't. I ran interference for the fifteen minutes at lineup- idiot owed me dessert from his rations for a week after pulling that stunt."

"How did you get him out of it?"

"A little bit of alchemy, a bit of luck. I managed to re-structure the metal of the piped downstairs, flooded the men's restroom on the first floor. In all the confusion, nobody noticed his absence- they were too concerned about the ankle-deep water, and no one noticed how later he was or his escapades. They never did figure out it was me who flooded the showers, either..." Roy was feeling _far_ too proud of himself- the reckless side of himself swelled with pride, but the officer side of him cringed- he was giving Edward Elric, his most impulsive officer, potential _ideas..._ He shuddered at the thought of Ed pulling any of these stunts at Eastern command.

Still, it was distracting the kid from his pain, and it was something to do...

"Never would've pegged you to be a rule breaker, bastard. I always assumed you'd be kissing their boots." Ed admitted quietly.

Roy smirked, leaning back in his chair. "Hardly. There's a lot about me you don't know, Fullmetal- and it isn't against regulations if you don't get caught."

"Heh." Ed smirked, indicating his agreement with the statement and settling back against the couch cushions, re-positioning himself slightly. Their silence was no longer strained with Ed's pain- the boy looked to be in discomfort, but no where near his near-tears levels of pain before.

They sat in docile silence, Ed's eyes closing every now and then only to snap back open, looking around the room idly every five minutes or so. Roy watched him, elbow propped up on the back of his chair, reading him. His body language and occasional frown suggested pain, as did the fact a kid that tired wasn't asleep, but he was looking better.

"How're you doing?" Roy's baritone split the silence sometime later.

"Better." Ed admitted, scrubbing at his sandy eyes with his auto mail hand.

Roy nodded. "Still want those meds?"

"Yeah." Ed was unable to keep the relief from his voice at the notion of meds, proving Roy's suspicion right- Ed's pain, while not unbearable, was still a significant thorn in the boy's side, keeping him from being comfortable and getting much-needed rest.

He ducked back into the room, checking to be sure he had the right pill bottle and handing them over to the boy with a glass of water.

Ed easily swallowed them both, and Roy was about to ask if he wanted help getting back to his room when Ed slowly laid himself down on the couch, answering his question for him.

"Thanks for putting up with me. You can go back to bed..." Ed shifted himself gingerly on the couch, resting his blonde head on the throw pillow.

"I had paperwork to do anyways." Roy lied fluently. He had signed a couple papers while he'd been seated at the desk, but mostly, he'd been recounting his glory day's to Ed, who'd hung onto his every word.

Still, it saved face. He stood, picking up book he'd been meaning to read and crossing the study, seating himself into a more comfortable, upholstered chair in the opposite corner and opening the volume. He watched Ed go from fumbling, restless and uncomfortable, to sleeping peacefully within half and hour. once he wads sure the boy was asleep, he shut the book he'd been pretending to read and fetched some blankets form his room, covering first Ed, and then returning to his upholstered chair and kicking his feet up onto a footstool, settling himself down for the night's vigil.

Sure, Fullmetal could be a pain in the behind sometimes, but he was still just a 13 year old kid who needed to be taken care of. Roy didn't think he was doing too bad of a job.


	8. Side Effects?

**Alright. I'm writing from a bit of personal experience here, and I wanna know what you guys think. The angst is _not over_ yet! Just when Roy learns how to deal with Ed's physical needs, a new problem arises! Guess what it is?**

* * *

After three days, they'd fallen into a routine.

Roy generally woke up just before dawn and woke Edward, giving him a dose of pain medication. Alphonse- having no need to sleep- would often help him prepare breakfast, sitting in the kitchen and sharing an amiable silence or a pleasant conversation.

After a half hour or so, once the pain medication had kicked in, Ed would amble downstairs and greet them both, smiling at Al, blonde hair a mess in a floppy ponytail.

Fullmetal would scarf down a quick breakfast- Roy tried to be inconspicuous, but he watched what the boy ate- he needed all the food he could get, with his wounds healing and the fact that he was a growing boy.

They'd share some conversation- sometimes, Roy and Ed would share banter with no real bite behind it- before Ed would ask Al to pick him up some more book from the library, as the youngest Elric made a daily pilgrimage there to find new volumes- something to keep him busy during the long hours of the night.

From there, Roy would settle at the desk in his living room. Hawkeye came by with his paper work at seven am sharp, and he would settle down to do it.

Edward had free rein of the house all day- however, most of the time, Edward chose to camp out in on the cream covered couch in the living room- not too far from Roy.

It was a proof of how serious Fullmetal's injuries were in that he spent most of the days sleeping on and off. Normally nothing could keep the blonde rebel out of commission, and for him to willingly lie down and rest was both concerning and a bit reassuring that they were on the right track the boy's body was healing.

He dozed and read like that for most of the day- around noon, Roy would give the boy another dose of pain medication, and a half hour later, he'd change the boy's bandages.

It wasn't as rough as the first bandage change had been- probably because the pain medication had been taking effect- it was almost some sort of ritual between them.

"The blisters are going down. How's the pain?" Roy said, examining the burns carefully.

"Not bad. It doesn't pull as much." Ed dipped his fingers in the salve, smearing it on the injuries gingerly and wincing slightly.

"I hate to say this, but pretty soon you might be able to go out and walk around. I'm not sure the world is ready to have you even partially up and functional." Roy remarked snidely, in line with his normal comments.

"Heh. I'm not sure you're ready for it. You might pretend to sign those papers, but once I'm out of here, you'll have to go back to the office and actually do some work." Ed retorted.

Roy frowned for a moment and said nothing, simply continuing to change his bandages.

Ed paused. Was Roy actually... hesitant to see him go? Did he actually enjoy having him here?

"Alright. Bandages all changed. You need anything else, your highness?" Roy cocked an eyebrow teasingly, breaking the momentary silence.

"Yeah. How about a glass of juice?"

Roy rolled his eyes, though he was smiling. "I'm not your servant, you know."

"Then why did you offer?" Ed asked, smirking.

"Brat." Roy muttered. A minute later, however, he had a glass of juice in hand.

They fell back into the amicable silence, Roy settling back down at the desk and resuming his paperwork as Ed cured up on the couch, a book in his hand.

He turned the pages quietly, sitting carefully and absorbing the knowledge. You never knew when a fact or transmutation technique could save your life someday.

As he read, however, the words started to mean less. Slowly, he became aware of the buzzing in his head. It was a slow hum at first, dull and distant. Almost like he could ignore it.

However, it clung to the far reaches of his mind, always present always there. The more he tried to ignore it, the louder it got.

He looked down, noticing his bandaged hand was shaking slightly when he went to turn the page and frowned. When had that happened?

Why was it so hot in here? And why did he feel like he couldn't breathe?

He could feel everything- every beat of his heart in his chest, every drop of blood in his veins... all of it.

He struggled to swallow, finding his mouth impossibly dry.

The buzzing- was it ever going to stop? It was driving him insane. He could _feel_ the chemical reactions happening on his brain's surface- he was losing his grip on everything, on reality...

The buzzing stopped. For one brief moment, he was left in a horrible, muffled silence...

And his world exploded into flames.

He could feel it- skin cells dying, heat like hell pressing in from all sides- even the oxygen around him had been totally consumed by the inferno.

As soon as it'd started, however, it was over.

He was left sitting on the couch in the living room, the silence horribly out of sync with his racing heart, trying to figure out what had just happened.

He blinked to find Roy watching him, brows drawn with concern.

"Ed- are you alright?" he'd noticed the rapid turning of pages had stopped and turned to find Fullmetal in some sort of trance- sitting up but shaking, with that thousand-yard stare in his normally focused golden eyes.

"...what?" Ed didn't hear him over the racing of the blood in his ears for a moment. And he didn't care- he had to get up- to escape whatever it was that was making him feel like this.

"I asked if you were alright. You don't look so good." Roy admitted. The boy was pale, normally calm face slightly drawn...

"I-I'm not feeling so hot." Ed admitted, before he stood as quickly as possible and quickly ducked out of the living room, leaving a bewildered Roy to stare after him for a moment before he was getting up and following.

Ed had managed to scramble into the bathroom on the first floor, and, to Roy's displeasure, had locked the door.

"Edward? You alright in there?" he asked, leaning against the heavy oak. He didn't like to admit it, but he was concerned.

"Yeah, fine..."

A voice that shaky didn't _sound_ fine, and Roy frowned, trying the doorknob to find it locked.

"Alright. Unlock the door- if something happens, I don't want to have to kick it down."

"In a minute... I think I'm gonna throw up." Ed said, tone sounding no better. Roy frowned.

There was silence for one long minute, two... water running in the sink.

In the bathroom, Ed could gradually feel the fear receding until he felt in control of himself and decidedly not terrified. He splashed cold water on his face to try to combat how hot he felt, and just focused on taking deep breaths in and out, like teacher had told him to do, and counted to fifty...

He took a deep breath and let it out to steady himself.

A moment later he was opening the door, finding a very concerned looking Roy Mustang waiting for him in the hall.

"You alright, Ed?" the teen looked anything but alright. His face was pale and damp- he'd probably splashed water on it in an attempt to cool the nausea. At any rate, the kid looked shaky at best.

"Yeah- sorry about that." Ed frowned rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "For a minute there I just really felt like I was gonna be sick. Must be the medication."

If Ed was going to feel nauseous from his medicine, it would've been when he'd started taking it three days ago.

But Roy didn't want to push it- for some reason, he highly doubted it was the medication, but at the same time, he didn't have enough information to justify interrogating the kid further.

"Right- I'll grab a bowl in case you feel sick again..." Roy said calmly, not so covertly observing the teen as they trekked back into the living room.

Ed laid back down on the couch, resting his head on the throw pillow and feeling utterly drained as Roy ducked into the kitchen t grab the bowl.

He frowned. He thought he'd gotten through the physical side effects of his injuries.

But what the heck had just happened to him?

Roy ducked back into the room a minute later with a bowl and a glass of ginger ale in hand, looking at the boy with some concern.

"Thanks." Ed said quietly, sipping the ginger ale before he was curling up on the couch again.

Roy nodded, studying the boy for a minute. "Need anything else?" eh was genuine this time- no teasing. Something seemed different about Ed- like he was tired, withdrawn, almost.

"No thanks." Ed laid back and fell asleep, dismissing his concern. It was probably a one off- maybe just nausea due to the medication.

But somehow, he didn't think that was the case.

* * *

 **Alright- based on that chapter, what do you think Ed experienced, and what do you think is going on? Review with your predictions- some of you may get it right! :)**


	9. Issues Come to Light

**Wow. Okay, you ever have one of those chapters that just flows perfectly? Like, there are chapters where you have no idea what you're doing and you're forcing it and you're afraid it's going to read poorly and might be better off not being written at all. And then there are the chapters that fall into place flawlessly- you might no exactly know what you're doing or where you're going exactly, but you have a rough idea and know where you wanna go, and the pieces just fall into place perfectly? Well, this is that chapter.**

 **That being said- the flow was so great and I was typing so quickly I made some errors. Hope I got them all ironed out, though. :)**

 **For my readers who guessed Edward was having body memories/ flashbacks/ PTSD, you're correct! :)**

 **I also threw in some anxiety, because I jsut feel like it;s realistic. I have anxiety and panic disorder myself, and did my best to write and protray it as accurately as possible, I'm not sure what having PTSD it like, but I feel like the panic attacks I wrote are pretty realistic (for me, anyways. Everyone is different).**

 **Anyways, enough about the chapter- onto the mailbag!**

 **MAILBAG**

 **Maalani, Chapter 8**

 **It sounded like body memories, a flashback. I get them, too, and they're so sudden but extremely real all the same. That's my guess anyway. I can't get over how much I'm enjoying ParentalRoy/Ed. I'm normally strictly Royai but this story and another one has captured my heart.**

You hit the nail on the head here! He's been having flashbacks/panic attacks. I actually didn't know they were called body memories until reading your review and researching, so thanks for that! I'm sorry you suffer from body memories- anything like that that causes so much anxiety is truly awful :(, and I hope you're doing well/seeing a professional to help manage it.

That being said, I'm so glad you're loving the parental Roy/Ed! I'm down with Royai, but I feel like a lot of their story could've been better told in the manga/anime, and the writers don't develop their characters/relationships to much in the anime or give them their own arcs/adventures, so it leaves a lot undiscovered, ya know (maybe I'll write you a Royai fic. Maybe.).

I didn't want this fic to be a 'Ed moves in with Roy and Roy is instantly his father' kinda fic. I wanted it to be messy, angsty, and just about everything in between, sorta like Edward. I feel like with each chapter, Roy's been gradually changing and growing as a person, and realizing his place as role model and father figure in Ed's life. The change is gradual, but you can feel it. That's what I'm shooting for.

If you liked the parental Roy/Ed in the last couple of chapters, then this one will make you melt into a puddle, because it just came together perfectly! Things come to a head as Roy goes from concerned to actively worried, because something is going on with Edward and he's not sure what.

I'm also thinking of drawing Al into the fold a little more in the upcoming chapters. Let me know what you guys think about that.

Finally, a shoutout to Yolkygoblin and .3. I read and enjoyed your reviews as well! :)

Without further ado, the chapter.

* * *

It was the third time he'd woken up that night, his heart racing and the sensation of fire on his skin. He panted one moment, two... and rolled over, screwing shut his eyes as the burning dwindled down to nothing.

He shivered as the air met with the sweat on his exposed skin, making him feel cold.

Maybe something was wrong with him. But whatever it was- he'd deal with it in the morning.

* * *

"Morning, Edward."

Roy's voice was sounding what felt like ten minutes later.

Ed grunted, turning and rolling over in bed, pulling the blankets over his head.

Roy watched the boy for a minute, smiling fondly. Ed had never been a morning person to begin with, but he really showed his age- a typical thirteen year old, unwilling to wake up. He was so unguarded- so genuine- it was rare to see him like this. And it was kind of cute.

"Take these."

Roy managed to get the kid to sit up long enough to swallow his pain medication, before he let him succumb to the gravitational pull of the blankets and lay back down again.

He smirked at the sight.

"Breakfast's downstairs whenever you're hungry, kid."

True to their morning routine, Ed stumbled downstairs a half an hour later, bleary-eyed, blonde hair trailing behind in a sloppy ponytail.

Roy smirked at the sight- the boy was in a wrinkled t-shirt and boxers. He yawned, blinking heavily.

Roy noticed the bags beneath the boy's eyes and frowned slightly. Perhaps the kid's injuries had taken more of a toll on him than he thought.

"Morning brother." Al smiled cheerily, buttering a plate of toast.

"Mornin' Al." He smacked his lips happily.

"I made hot chocolate." Al smiled, offering a steaming mug to Ed.

The boy reached out to take the mug with both hands... As soon as the mug was in his hands, he recoiled, eyes widening...

 _Burning skin... his clothes melting onto his flesh, the sickening stench of burnt hair..._

The mug shattered into a thousand pieces on the kitchen floor.

Ed stood for a moment, blinking, surprised. What's just happened?

Al gasped, surprised.

"Sorry." Ed apologized, blinking owlishly down at the broken glassy mess on the floor.

"It's fine- it was an accident." Roy admitted, though his gaze lingered on the boy. For a moment, something had seemed different- a flash of... something... had been in the boy's eyes. Coupled with his odd behavior yesterday, he was inclined to think the boy was getting sick. He made a mental note to watch the boy more carefully.

The rest of the day proceeded as usual, though Ed seemed a bit more melancholy than usual as he laid, curled up on the couch. The stack of books beside him remained untouched, and he laid back, eyes falling closed as he gave into sleep.

Despite the fact he was sleeping, Roy looked over several times to see the boy gazing over at him with half-lidded eyes, as though making sure he was really still there.

Sufficiently bored with paperwork, Roy made his way over to the couch, sitting down next to the boy and reaching over, feeling his forehead. The boy's skin was its normal temperature.

Still, Ed seemed listless, not even pulling away from the unexpected touch, and Roy frowned. "You feeling okay, kid?"

"Tired, I guess." Ed admitted, curling deeper into the couch cushions.

He was trying to get some sleep- he really was- however, every time he closed his eyes, his heart would jolt and he'd have to open them again to look around, trying to see just _what_ it was that'd triggered his instincts...

Only there was nothing.

He was starting to think something was wrong with him.

* * *

Roy watched the boy pick at dinner, still looking exceedingly tired despite having spent most of the day resting on the couch.

He nodded politely and forced a strained smile at Al every now and then, though Roy had a feeling he was mostly tuning out his brother's excited chatter as he sat at the table, shuffling food around on his plate and moving it everywhere but into his mouth.

"Edward. You wonder why you're the size of a thumb, but you hardly eat anything."

Ed looked up from his plate, eyes sparking slightly in anger before they were back to that dull goldenrod color, so unlike Fullmetal usually was. "Whatever." he mumbled, continuing to pick at dinner.

That gave Roy pause. When did Ed _ever_ back down from an insult about his stature? If he had been concerned before, he was outright worried, now, though he tried not to let it show.

He knew something was going on with the kid- so he wasn't necessarily surprised when he checked the boy's room that night to find it empty. He ambled down the hallway, peering into the study...

To find him pacing the study like a caged animal, looking as though he hadn't slept in days.

Roy caught the boy by the shoulder, stopping his pacing. "Edward. What's wrong?"

Ed said nothing, simply staring at him with exhaustion written into his pale features. Yes, something was wrong- he could feel it in every nerve in his body, in every inch of his being- it was the fear whenever he closed his eyes. But how could he say it when he didn't know just what that fear was? How could he explain something he didn't quite understand himself?

Roy frowned, thoroughly unnerved by the kid's silence.

He paused, placing both hand's on the teen's shoulders. "Ed." he frowned, voice taking on a softer tone. "If something is wrong, you have to tell me. I can't fix it if you don't tell me."

Still, the kid was silent. Was he afraid? Of Roy? Roy racked his brain- what could the kid be afraid of? He hadn't given him any reason to fear him, unless the kid was afraid of disappointing him...

"Ed. Do you need to go to the hospital? I can take you right now- whatever it is- you can tell me. I won't be disappointed or angry, you understand?"

The boy frowned. Finally- finally, he said something. "I don't need to go the the hospital."

Inwardly, Roy breathed a sigh of relief. Whatever it was wasn't medical. The kid had been through enough. But if it wasn't his injuries, then what had the kid up in the middle of the night like this?

"Do you need more pain medication?"

"No."

Roy sighed, running a hand through his hair, exasperated. "Ed, what is it? I want to help you."

 _How can he help me when I don't even know what's wrong with me?_ Ed thought, frowning.

"I just can't sleep."

Roy nodded, mulling it over. "Alright. Pacing around will just keep you up all night- at least sit down..."

Ed did as he was told, sitting on the green couch in the study, just like he'd done the first night. Only this time, the kid wasn't in horrible pain. Instead, he looked like he was a thousand miles away.

Roy puled out the chair at his desk, turning up the lamp he had- while he was slightly reassured, he still felt uneasy about the way Ed was acting, and decided to do some paperwork as he stayed with the boy. While he mindlessly pounded out signatures on documents, he tried to think of what on earth could be wrong with the kid to have him acting so strangely.

He frowned, signing another paper with a flourish, when he came upon a stack of old documents. He'd personally signed the triplicates and had them all filed- this information was no longer needed. It was just extra copies clogging up his work space at this point. Still, the information was sensitive enough that he couldn't just throw it away. Best it be burned.

Without thinking, he pulled out his glove from his navy blue bathrobe pocket and snapped his fingers- instantly, a blaze ignited in the fireplace adjacent to his desk and across from Ed's couch...

Edward screamed.

Instantly, Roy went rigid, whirling to find the kid had fallen off the couch and was scrambling across the hardwood floor, on all fours, away from the fireplace.

The kid's eyes were as big as saucers- once he'd skittered as far away from the fireplace as he possibly could, he sat, back against the wall, flanks heaving as he started to hyperventilate...

Roy knocked over his chair in his haste to stand up, rushing over to the teen.

"Edward. Ed- can you hear me?" he placed both hands on the boy's shoulders, looking down at him seriously.

Something raw was torn from Edward's throat- a cross between a muffled scream and a whimper- and he twisted in Roy's grip, writhing slightly...

"... _burns..._ "

Roy blinked, turning around- the kids eyes were still locked on the fireplace as he squirmed, tears streaming down his face...

Roy dashed out of the room, coming back and dousing the fire.

A moment later he was on his knees in front of Edward again, both hands on the boy's shoulders.

"Edward. Ed, you're safe. I need you to look at me, Ed."

He used his hand to turn the boy's chin and terrified gaze from the smoldering fireplace. ed seemed to be staring right through him, a hyperventilating, squirming mess...

"Breathe, Ed. You're gonna look at me and breathe. Breathe in for one...two...three...four... Breathe out for one...two...three...four... And again..." Roy inhaled, counting in his head, and exhaled.

Ed was physically shaking, but Roy noted with some degree of relief that the boy was making an effort to breath, inhaling and exhaling in time with Roy.

Every now and again the fear seemed to override the boy, as he'd whimper and start to hyperventilate, but Roy was patient with him.

"Easy, Ed. I know, it's hard to calm down, but just start over again. In for one...two...three...four... Out for one...two...three...four...".

Slowly, Ed's eyes started to focus on Roy rather than stare through him. The boys nearly convulsive trembling died down to some shakiness, and eventually, he closed his eyes, completely focusing himself on breathing in time with Roy.

It must've taken them at least ten minutes, but Edward finally opened his eyes again, looking much less terrified and more lucid.

"Are you with me, Ed?" Roy asked carefully.

Ed nodded, dried tears still on his face, before he did something that took Roy by surprise. He lunged forward and threw his arms around Roy, burying his face in his superior's chest, shoulders heaving with quiet sobs.

For a brief moment, Roy was frozen, unsure how to handle the situation... A moment later, however, instinct took over, and he was returning the embrace, hands rubbing soothing circle's on the boy's back while his fingers wove their way through messy blonde hair...

Ed had already nearly panicked himself to the point of exhaustion, so the crying was brief- the kid was spent. But even once he'd finished crying, he pressed himself against Roy, desperate for safety, for protection...

"It was the fire, wasn't it?" Roy asked seriously.

Ed nodded furiously into his chest, another muffled sob escaping him.

"That's why you've been acting so out of sorts these past few days, isn't it?"

More nodding, and a sniffle.

Ed pulled back, looking up at Roy with watery eyes. "I can't sleep." he admitted, voice hoarse. "Every time I close my eyes it's _there..._ And It hits randomly, I'm fine and then I'm _burning..._ I think I'm losing my mind."

"Ed-"

"It's in my head! I can feel it, it's choking me, and I can't _breathe,_ I'm gonna go nuts and then who's going to take care of Alphonse!?" Ed asked, voice raw.

"Edward!" Roy raised his voice slightly, and Ed instantly recoiled, wincing slightly but still refusing to let go of Roy.

Roy sighed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. But you're _not_ going insane, and you're not crazy."

"You know what this is?" Ed looked up at him hopefully.

Roy nodded, swallowing. Mentally, he was kicking himself. He'd felt it all before, seen it a thousand times in the sleepless faces of his comrades in Ishval, felt it himself, all those sleepless nights filled with screams of long dead civilians...

How had he not put the pieces together with Edward? The boy's episode of strange behavior the other day, his nausea and shakiness- his apparent tiredness, his listlessness, how he dropped his mug at breakfast, the way the boy barely dozed at all on the couch, his sudden change in character...

He'd seen combat fatigue a thousand times, and lived through the hell it was himself. Guilt rose up in his throat like vomit- he'd not only failed to recognize it earlier in Edward- _he_ was the reason the boy was experiencing this hell.

"How do we fix it? W-what's wrong with me?" ed looked up at him with such hope Roy's nausea doubled. How could the boy still trust him, still turn to him, when he'd been such a terrible officer. Injuring his subordinate, failing to recognize the kid wasn't coping well...

He took a deep breath. There would be time to sort out his own feelings later. Right now, Edward was the priority.

"Well- it's not concrete, but there are ways to deal with it."

"You mean like medicine?" Ed looked up at him carefully.

Roy frowned. "Possibly." if the boy hadn't been able to calm down, he wouldn't have hesitated to get him to a hospital where they could use medication the end the episode. But it hadn't come to that.

"Ed- how have you been feeling these past few days?"

Ed frowned. "Not good." he admitted. "I feel fine one second, and the next I can't breathe and I'm really hot and I feel like I'm gonna puke. I can't sleep, and whenever I close my eyes, it feels like something horrible is gonna happen..."

"You haven't been eating much."

"Not hungry, I guess. I'm mostly just tired." the kid sagged against Roy slightly, looking exhausted.

Roy reached down, brushing a lock of sweaty blonde hair away from the boy's face, as he frowned. "Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?"

Ed shrugged, sighing. "Dunno. I thought it was just a one time thing, at first, and when it kept happening, I thought something was seriously putting me on edge, but I didn't know what. It's hard to explain how you feel, and I didn't wanna bother you with something so trivial when I didn't know what was causing it..."

Roy frowned. "Edward. _N_ _othing_ is trivial when it comes to your health. I need you to tell me how you're feeling, otherwise I can't help you when you're hurt or sick or need something. Understand?"

"Yeah." Ed mumbled, leaning into Roy's chest. He sighed. "I'm so tired."

Having a panic attack or flashback could do that- Roy knew from experience; After the adrenaline died down, you were left completely exhausted...

"Can you stand?"

"Maybe..." Ed staggered to his feet, leaning heavily on Roy. They started to slowly head down the hall towards Roy's room.

He frowned, blinking heavily. "This is your room."

"I know. I want to be close by, that way if you start feeling scared again you can get me immediately."

"Oh." Ed still frowned. "You haven't told me what's wrong with me yet. Or how we're gonna fix it."

Even when he was exhausted, Fullmetal was a fount of questions. Roy smiled slightly as he helped the kid into his queen sized bed. Already, he was sounding more like the boy he knew so well.

"I don't think it'd do much good right now, seeing as how you're half asleep."

"But what if it happens again?" Ed asked, frowning. "It's hell..."

The boy needed some answers, and Roy sighed, sitting on the bed beside the boy. "Alright, Ed. You're having panic attacks or flashbacks- I'm not exactly sure what yet. It's episodes of extreme fear, or episodes where you feel like you're relieving trauma... you're re-living when you were burned, Ed." Roy admitted.

Ed frowned, looking slightly anxious. "What if it happens again? What if you can't calm e down next time, and it won't stop?"

Roy placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "If you have a panic attack again-, I'll breathe with you and get you through it like last time. And if that doesn't work- I'll take you to the hospital. Their are medications that will change your brain chemistry and stop the panic and fear..."

"There are drugs that can do that?" Ed looked intrigued.

"Yeah..."

"That's so cool." Ed smiled slightly, blinking sluggishly, and Roy couldn't help but smile. Yes, he certainly was sounding more like his Edward.

"Yeah, it is. But you're exhausted, and it's late. So you're going to get some sleep. I'll be right next to you if you need anything. In the morning, we'll talk a little bit more about what's going on with you and what we can do to treat this, alright?"

Ed frowned. "Alright." his eyes ever closed. "but.. we do it when Al's gone. I.. don' want him to worry. I'll... tell him later..."

"Alright. We'll talk once Al's gone to the library. I won't make you tell him anything you're not comfortable with. but for now, we're getting some sleep. Alright, Ed?"

"Alrigh'." Ed slurred, already halfway asleep, burrowed beneath the blankets and duvet on Roy's bed.

Roy smirked, affectionately sweeping a lock of blonde hair away from the boy's face. "Goodnight, kid..."

"G'night, Dad..."

Roy paused for a moment, surprised, before he smiled. A year ago, he;d have been mortified at the thought of Ed calling him Dad, but now, after everything they'd been through and how much he'd grown to know the kid... it felt right.

He crawled into bed beside Edward, pulling up the blankets, and fell asleep to the sound of Edward's breathing.

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Please review! I read every review and love them all! They inspire me to write faster! :)


	10. Blond

**As reader Malani suggested- I clearly haven't done justice to Roy's character. I was so focused around Ed and his cluster of issues that I completely forgot Roy, who, having dealt with Ishval, and having burnt Ed, clearly shouldn't be so well put together, considering his past.**

 **This chapter aims to revise some of those issues by showing Roy in a different light- showing how he gets trapped in his own head, and how having Edward to care for prevents him from indulging his normal less-than savory coping methods (alcohol).**

 **I'm going to be working more on weaving Al into the story. I feel like Alphonse is a bit of a mystery to me- while I love him all the same, it's a bit harder for me to characterize him, as I feel I don't know him as well as I do Ed and Roy, but I'll do my best for you all!**

 **Without further ado, the chapter! :)**

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 _He stood among the wreckage, sullied, tattered white cloak hanging off him. Around him, the dessert sand swirled, stirring up the masses of sand and swirling the smoky wreckage._

 _That's all it was now. Wreckage._

 _Their orders were to destroy absolutely everything. They'd received word of insurgents in this neighborhood, and, with the order to attack at night, leave nothing standing._

 _He was the Flame Alchemist- the go-to bulldozer, the hammer they needed when they wanted to absolutely shatter Flames had a tendency to do that, really- to destroy everything._

 _He strode through the ashes and cinder, eyes looking half-dead upon the wreckage. No survivors. That'd been his order._

 _Looking at the demolished dwellings- only charred beans and bits of curtains and cloth remaining- he was sure he'd done it. The smell of burnt flesh was evidence enough._

 _He was tired. So, so tired. He could feel the sand in his mouth, in his hair- gritty, tasting like dirt. That was more than these people felt- these people didn't feel anything anymore._

 _He heard something scuffle and stopped, gloved hand immediately rising, ready to snap. Had something actually survived his flames?_

 _More shifting in the wreckage- his heart started to beat faster. The military side of him screamed at him to snap now, finish the job, and carry out orders. The human side of him wanted to see if the survivor was an insurgent before deciding their fate._

 _A whimper- more scuffling..._

 _"Mommy?" the hoarse voice sounded barely above a whisper._

 _But that single word took away any breath that'd been remaining in Mustang's lungs._

 _He watched as the horribly burned child clawed it's way from the wreckage- a good part of his face and lower body burnt black, hair still smoking..._

 _Another whimper, as little hands dug through the soot and ashes._

 _"Mommy? Mommy, where are you!?"_

 _He'd already seen the charred corpse laying in the other room, and something within him broke as his heart sank..._

 _He stepped forward wordlessly._

 _The child froze, seeing him, before they were screaming hysterically. The shattered pieces of his heart, broken glass as they were, were grinded into dust at the noise._

 _"Mommy! Mommy!" he was walking closer to the child now, as they tried to crawl away from him._

 _"Soldiers are coming Mommy! Mommy, they're going to kill me!"_

 _He bent down and picked the child up. The child- a boy, he thought, judging by the voice, froze in his hold, before struggling, kicking, for one moment, two..._

 _He ignored the squirming, however, and after a few moments, the child succumbed to exhaustion and pain and went limp, becoming dead weight in his arms._

 _It was for the best, really- this was the child of insurgents, terrified of soldiers- of him, really. And it made it so no one was awake to notice his shaking shoulders, or the wetness on his cheeks._

 _He brought the kid back to camp, gave him to the medics, and went to his tent without a word._

 _He memorized every crease and stitch on the drab military green tarp of his tent and laid there for hours, thinking of nothing. his mind was dull static._

 _Hughes came to try to talk to him, tried to force him to eat- he said nothing, ignored the food, and wondered about the boy in the medic's tent._

 _It was two days later when Hughes finally managed to coax him out of his tent with the promise of a beer._

 _He stepped outside onto the scorched earth, feeling the hot dessert wind kiss him as the sand swirled around his boots._

 _He looked up, only to see a small form covered in a sheet being carried from the Medic's tent. He lost the ability to breathe._

 _Hughes stopped talking, frowning, before he recoiled, seeing what he saw- he'd seen him come into camp with the boy last night._

 _Somehow, Roy ended up on his knees, vomiting. Hughes laid a hand on his shoulder, concerned, and said something that faded into the background._

 _As he finished retching, he looked up, only to get a glimpse of the body of the child beneath the sheet- and of a lock of charred, blonde hair._

He gasped as though breaking the surface of water, surging forward to a sitting position- the bed sheets pooled at his waist, he was drenched in a cold sweat, and he paused, feeling heat and nausea overwhelm him for a moment.

He'd felt this before. This was a familiar hell.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he struggled to control himself. It took him three minutes to get himself to a reasonable state, and even then, panic still infringed on the corners of his mind. Still, it was manageable- he's only succumb to irrational fear if he let it overwhelm him. He could control himself, his feelings...

Ishval. He hadn't had a nightmare like that in a long, long time. He'd had that dream before- but something had been different this time, it'd been the blonde hair...

He whirled, eyes widening as they frantically searched through the darkness for the object of his nightmare, of the things that'd been different than whenever he'd dreamt it before.

Blonde hair.

His eyes frantically searched the darkness, roving wrinkled sheets and foraging through the darkness to land on a small lump in the blankets- a childish form huddled among the sheets, very well burrowed beneath the sheets, and, peering out from within the burrow of linen, a few strands of golden hair.

He sagged onto the mattress, feeling dizzy with relief.

Still, he couldn't quite believe it, and slowly, he edged over to the side of the bed, enveloping the boy in his arms and pulling the sleeping form close to his chest.

Every movement painfully slow, every action deliberate- as though the boy were paper mache, and, if handled too roughly, he'd fall apart in his arms.

He gathered the small body against his own, pressed the chest- so small- he'd never really contemplated how small Edward was when compared to his own broad chest- against his own. He could feel the hummingbird thrum of the boy's heartbeat against his own, feel the slight wind of the boy's breathing on his cheek, letting him know that Edward was, in fact, still with him.

He held onto the sleeping boy for longer than he cared to admit all the same, until his hands stopped shaking.

Finally, once he had dragged himself out of his own private hell, he realized, with some surprise, he hadn't drank. Normally after a nightmare like that, he drank scotch until he passed out.

Then again, as he looked down at the small form in his arms, he remembered he couldn't check out now. People were depending on him.

He sighed, gaze softening, and, in a rare moment of tenderness, tucked Ed's blond crown of hair beneath his chin and held the boy close, finally letting sleep pull him under.

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 **Please Review! :)**


	11. Adaptation

Edward smiled and chatted eagerly with Alphonse the next morning at breakfast, despite the dark circles beneath his eyes, and it was enough to appease the suit of armor before he was leaving, heading towards the library in his daily pilgrimage.

Nearly as soon as the door had shut, Edward's golden gaze snapped up, meeting Roy's own charcoal one.

"Alright- are you gonna teach me this magic cure or what?"

Roy sighed. "There's no magic 'cure', Ed... There's therapy and techniques and other resources to help you manage it."

"Edward had fallen still, a drawn look of horror on his face.

"Ed?"

"...you mean... I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life?" Ed's voice was barely above a whisper, and his bandaged hand was shaking.

"No! That's not what I mean at all, Ed!"

"Can't I just have some of those drugs you were talking about? That seems much more reliable, science and all..." Ed was babbling now, looking into the distance as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Edward. Look at me."Roy reached over to place a hand on the automail shoulder, picking his next words carefully.

"Ed- when I came back from the war, I didn't sleep for a week. When I did manage to sleep, it was only after I drank until I passed out. And even then, there were nightmares. I didn't leave my house for a month. I felt like you're feeling right now, probably."

Ed frowned, looking up at him. "You?"

"Yeah, Ed, me."

"...how did you survive? Being locked inn your house for a month..."

"Some really good friends, Ed. Hawkeye, for one- she finally dragged my ass to therapy. And Hughes and Gracia- well, they were there, too. Bringing over meals and such. Hughes gave me some good books on relaxation techniques- the things that helped him. I started taking walking in the morning- I started keeping my gloves in my pocket instead of wearing them all the time- and step by step, I re-learned how to walk."

"So, you're cured now?"

"I still, have bad days, Ed. The days where I wear my gloves while I'm signing paperwork- where I come in tired because the nightmares come back, or remember flashes of things, or get a rush of emotion and adrenaline- but I control those feelings. I don't allow them to control me."

"You make it sound easy." Edward said, frowning.

"Trust me, kid, it's not. But with a little practice, it's second nature."

"Right." Ed looked up, scrubbing at his eyes. His face felt sandy, and his burns were beginning to throb.

"Tired?"

Edward nodded. "Yeah. I... uh... don't really sleep, much. I wake up sweating..."

Roy winced sympathetically.

"The hardest part is falling asleep, though. I keep thinking and my mind is whirling and I can't slow down and drift off. It's like everything is out to get me."

Roy nodded seriously. "I think I figured out the first thing we're going to go over, Ed. Think you can make it to the living room?"

Ed nodded, standing. They made their way to the couch, Edward gingerly arranging himself on the cushions, and Roy sat down beside him.

"We're going to learn how to relax. Start with your breathing."

"I'm breathing already."

"That's a start." Roy smirked slightly. "But focus on it. Breathe in for four, the count out for four. feel your chest expanding- put your hands on your stomach and feel it expand with every inhale and exhale."

Ed paused, but did as he was told, placing his hand atop his stomach and focusing- his breathing slowed and evened, and the boy even managed to close his eyes- simply feeling every draw of breath i and out and feeling his abdomen expanding with every breath...

He must've stayed still for a minute before his golden eyes were cracking open, looking more focused than before. "So.. that's it?"

"That's the start. It might be tedious, but it's really important. Breathing can be the difference between being very uncomfortable and having a panic attack. If you breathe and stay calm, it will pass."

Ed nodded, looking rather interested.

"The next part is just a general relaxation strategy. But it's _scientifically_ shown to decrease anxiety." he added the last fact, knowing Ed would appreciate it.

"It's called progressive muscle relaxation. Start by curling your toes for ten seconds, then relax them. Start moving up- curl your toe,s and tense up your feet. Hold it... and relax."

"And keep going. Move up your legs, then your arms and upper body, until you're tensing your whole body at once before relaxing."

They settled into a relaxed silenced. Roy watched the boy work his way up, until he was tensing his whol body before relaxing, looking over at Roy. He seemed to melt into the couch cushions behind him. "Now what?"

"Do it again."

Edward nodded, letting his eyes fall shut, and began to work his way up his body again.

Roy got distracted by the silence. He didn;t think he'd ever seen Fullmetal so calm or devoted to learning something, and it was kind of endearing to watch.

Five minutes turned to ten, ten dripping to twenty, and he didn't notice anything was different until a weight sank into him.

He looked over to find Fullmetal's head resting against his shoulder- the boy's entire body was slumped over.

He smirked slightly, exhaling roughly through his nose at the sight. It appeared the kid had relaxed himself right into sleep.

It was cute. He had paperwork to do, the though Hawkeye would probably point her gun at him later that day when she came by for not doing it, he didn't have the heart to move and risk waking the kid. He needed all the sleep he could get.

BREAK

Roy woke up to a whimper.

There was a gasp, and Roy rolled over to find Ed tangled in the sheets, golden eyes wide, small gasps and pants splitting the night.

"Ed- Ed, buddy, breathe for me."

" _It burns."_

"Breathe with me, Ed. That's it."

The boy would stumble over himself, occasionally, choking and trying to fall back into the hyperventilation, but Roy refused to let him go back to that hell, tapping his cheek.

"Ed. You're doing great, kiddo. Keep it up. Just keep breathing with me..."

After three minutes, the boy let out a long, shuddering breath.

"How're you feeling?"

"Okay. I... I'll be okay."

"Better or worse than the last one?"

"It still sucked. But... it didn't last as long. And it wasn't as scary, because I knew I could stop it."

Roy nodded. The kid seemed to be doing better. "Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

Edward nodded in the dark, burrowing back within the sheets, and slowly, his breathing evened out as he laid on the bed.

A cold auto mail leg brushed against his foot, and he frowned.

Fullmetal was so young, and yet the kid had been through so much- and some of it had been his fault.

But the boy was so resilient- and he was so, so proud of him.

While Ed was still struggling, he would adapt. It took a lot more than this to kill a certain fire-spitting alchemist.


End file.
